Category: sex

Q. What is the lightest thing in the world?
A. A penis…even a thought can raise it.

whatdo women think about sex:
at age 10 think about it
at age 20 do it
at age 30 get babys from it
at age 60 egnore it
at age 90 forget about it

What do Monica Lewinsky and a Coke machine have in common. (They both say insert Bill)

An American tourist went into a restaurant in Mexico for dinner, and asked to be served the specialty of the house. When the dish arrived, he asked what kind of meat it contained. ‘Sir, these are the cojones,’ the waiter replied. ‘The what, you say?’ exclaimed the tourist. ‘They are testicles of the bull killed in the ring today,’ explained the waiter. The tourist gulped, but tasted the dish anyway, and found it delicious. Returning the following evening, he asked for the same dish. After he finished the meal,the tourist commented to the waiter: ‘Today’s cojones aremuch smaller than the ones I had yesterday.’ ‘True, sir,’ said the waiter, ‘you see the bull does not always lose…’

a naked woman was getting ready for bed when she looked at herself in the mirror and said to her husband my bum looks fat and i look ugly will you pay me a compliment the husband replies well your eye sight is perfect.

A college couple is under a tree on campus making out. After a while, the girl
says, “I wish you had a flashlight.”
He says, “Why’s that?”
She says, “Because you’ve been eating grass for fifteen minutes.”

A girl goes on a first date with a french horn player. Next day her friend says “go on tell me, what was it like”?

“OK” her friend replies “but every time he kissed me he shoved his fist up my ass”

Minnie is sitting in the chair and the Judge asks Mickey
“So…U say minnie is crazy?”
Mickey replies “No, I said shes fucking Goofy!”

Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
A. Because women wouldn’t do them if they were called cant scrapes.

Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn’t want anyone telling him how to make Adam.

this guy was going on a bisness trip and he didnt want his wife to cheat on him so he went to the store and asked the guy what should he do if he doesnt want his wife to cheat so the store owner pulled out a puney little dick out of a box and the guy said what is this and the owner said voodoo dick and the owner explained that you have to tell it what to do like voodoo dick wall (and it put sperm all over the wall) and then the owner said to get it to stop you said voodoo dick box and it goes back in the box if you dont say that then it wont stop so the guy bought it then he bought home and he told his wife how to work it but he didnt tell his wife how to make it stop so he left she said voodoo dick my mouth then it went in to her mouth then she said voodoo dick my pussy and then it did it but then after a while she wanted it to stop but she didnt know how to make it stop so she ran out the house got in her car and she was speeding down the highway and the voodoo dick was chasing her so then she started to go faster and then the cops stopped her and he said miss you was speeding and she was explaing to him the story about voodoo dick and the officer said ha ha ha voodoo dick my ass…..

there was a man and a women having sex his mom says basterd and his dad says bitch so the kid went up to his dad and asked what dose bitch mean it means lady went up to his mom and asked what dose basterd mean it means gentalmean.so there where having sex agin and his mom says nice dick and his dad says nice tits so the kid went up to his mom and asked what dose dick mean it means coat whent up to his dad and asked what dose tits mean it means hats.his dad was shaving he cut his self he said shit so the kid went up to his dad what dose shit mean it means shaving.his mom was cutting turkey for thanksgiving she cut her self she said fuck so the kid asked her what dose fuck mean it means cutting turkey.so a group of people came in and the boy said hellow basterd and bitches hang up youre dicks and tits my dad is in the bathroom shiting and my mom is in the kitchen fucken the turkey