Category: sex

Final Exam

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A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about
tomorrow’s final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not
showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an
immediate family member’s death.

One smart ass, male student said, “What about extreme sexual
exhaustion?” and the whole classroom burst into laughter.

After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the
student, and said, “Not an excuse, you can use your other hand
to write.”

Wife

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Wife: “I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten
dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars.”
Husband: “How about the ones like mine?”
Wife: “Those they gave away free as novelty items.”
Husband: “I had a dream too…I dreamt they were auctioning off vaginas. The
pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two
thousand.”
Wife: “And how much for the ones like mine?” Husband: “That’s where they held
the auction.”

Weight loss

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There was this guy and he was really fat and he wanted to lose
weight really fast. so he was watching tv one day and this thing
came on and it said lose weight fast so he decides that it hes
tryed everthing else why not try this. so he goes to the place
and says i’ll take the five dollar for five pounds special the
lady at the desk was like ok up the stairs the first door on the
left. he goes in the room and then the door shuts behind him and
it locks then a bed pops up with this really hot girl. she says
catch me u get to fuck me the guy was like ok so he eventually
cought her and he fucked her. after that he was like wow that
was great i feel lighter already. so he goes back down to the
desk and says i’ll take the ten dollar for ten pounds special
the lady says up the second flight of stairs the third door to
the left. so he gets up there the same thing happens but this
time the bed popped up with really hot twins and they said catch
me and u get to fuck me and the guy was thinkin this cant be
real but he decides to do it and he catches them both and fucks
them both. he was like oh my god i feel ten pounds lighter. so
he goes back down to the desk and says to the lady i’ll take the
fifteen dollar for as much weight as wanted and the lady was
like ok pal. up the third flight of stairs the black door all
the way at the end. the guy goes up there and he’s really tired
but he goes in any way the same thing happens the door locks and
the bed popped up. but this time it was a gorilla that said if i
catch you i get to fuck you.