WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU SEE MEN PLAYING BUTTS UP IN A DARK TUNNEL?
ASS HOLES. HE HE HE
Category: sex
You don’t look down.
Q. What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in
common?
A. You don’t look down.
One day on the first day of school
One day on the first day of school, a teacher was taking attendance and
noticed that many students of hers were missing…..a few minutes� passes and
Tony walks in. The teacher Miss Rose asked “where he had been”. Tony says “oh…
I was on top of strawberry hill. Miss Rose says okay. Don’t let it happen again.
Then 10 minutes passes. Drew walks in and Miss Rose asked “where he had been.”
He says on top of Strawberry hill. Miss Rose says “okay, don�t let it happen
again. Then 15 minutes passes by and Mike walks in. Miss Rose asked “where he
had been.” He says on top of Strawberry hill. Miss Rose was starting to wonder
what was going on up there but she minds her business and figures there’s a car
accident or something. Then finally 2 hrs later a little girl walks in and Miss
Rose asked “where have you been, on top of strawberry hill?”…The little girl
goes. No Miss Rose I am Strawberry Hill……
Better traction.
Q. Why don’t witches wear panties when flying on their broomsticks?
A. Better traction.
Lady and a Dentist
A man and a woman met at a bar. They started getting along
really well and they decide to go to her place for a drink.
Some drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his
hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands.
The woman looked at him and said, “You must be a dentist.”
Flabbergasted, the guy responded, “Why yes! That’s amazing; how
did you know that?”
The woman replied, “Real easy. You keep washing your hands.”
One thing leads to another, and they go to bed.
After the lovemaking, the woman remarked, “You must be a GREAT
dentist!”
The doctor was very surprised, and said, “Yes! Yes! I sure am a
great dentist. Wow! You amaze me! And how did you know THAT
sweetheart?”
The woman says: “Easy. I didn’t feel a thing.”
Male Translations
“No, really, I’m OK to drive.”
–I’m wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home
with.
“I’m not used to these darts.”
–I’m not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this
bombed.
“You get this one, next round is on me.”
–We won’t be here long enough to get another round.
“I’ll get this one, next one is on you.”
–Happy hour is about to end…now drafts are a dollar, but by the next round
they’ll be $4.50 a pop.
“Let�s get out of here.”
–I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that Harley guy’s helmet.
“Can I get a glass of white zinfandel?”
–I’m gay.
“Ever try a body shot?” (Male to female)
–I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.
“I’ve had like 10 beers already.”
–I’ve only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.
“Who’s got the next round?”
–I haven’t bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting
attention.
“Excuse Me.” (Male to female)
–I am going to grope you now.
“I’m out of here; I have to work in the morning.”
–I owe that guy who just walked in the door 100 bucks and have been avoiding
him since football season.
“What do you have on tap?”
–What’s cheap?
“Can I just get a glass of water?”
–It’s 6:00 am and I just stopped drinking 1/2 hour ago. Hell, I probably
dropped half of my paycheck in here last night, so it’s the least you can do for
me.