Category: sex

Q. What did the potato chip say to the battery?
A. If you’re Eveready, I’m Frito Lay.

Q: Why does Frankenstein walk around moaning and saying “Eeeeehhhhh””

A: Because he was screwed!

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Q. What’s the difference between a toad and a horny toad?
A. One goes “rabbit” the other goes “rub it”.’

there were two men tacking a shower when the phon rang the one man said ill answer it but don’t cum while i am gone well he came back about five minutes later the man came back and there was sperm everywhere when he sais i thought i told you not to cum then his lover said but i didn’t i farted

Q. Why do women have two holes so close together?
A. In case you miss.

have sex nude in bed feeling bodies

yo mama so ugly and fat she tooka sexualty test and got a 0%
bitch

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go
to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem.

In response the doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting ready to
ejaculate try startling yourself”.

That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter
pistol. All excited to try this suggestion out he runs home to his wife.

At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband. As the two
begin, they find themselves in the ’69’ position. The man, moments later,
feels the sudden urge to come and fires the starter pistol.

The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, “How did
it go?”

The man answered, “Not that well..when I fired the pistol my wife crapped
on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the
closet with his hands in the air!”

Wanna hear a dirty joke….? A girl roled in mud. Wanna hear a clean joke….? A girl took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear another dirty joke….? Bubbles is the girl next door.

The Charade The world’s greatest charade player brags that he can guess any charade. A TV producer decides to use the charade player in a TV special. He issues a challenge offering the charade player a million dollars to guess a very hard charade on television. The Charade player agrees. Comes the big night, all the world is watching. The charade player is sitting on stage in front of a curtain. Music blares and the curtain opens to reveal seven nude young women.The second and fourth ladies are holding their breasts, while the other five have their backs to him and are baring their behinds. The charade player barely glances over them and says, ”The William Tell Overture by Rossini.”The flabbergasted producer says in awe, ”You’ve done it!. That’s the right answer. You are indeed the greatest charade player!” and hands him a check for a million bucks.Walking out, a reporter stops the charade player and ask him how he did it.”It’s really simple,” says the charade player. ”One look at the positions of the seven women, and I realized it as the William Tell Overture.””Rump… titty… rump… titty… rump… rump… rump.”

once there was a guy named bob. he had a problem. he had premature ejaculations. so one day he visited a doctor to get it fixed, and when he told the doctor his problem the doctor said, “whenever you get the feeling to ejaculate fire a pistol and it will startle you so that the urge goes away. so, bob thought this was a good idea, when he got home his wife was in bed waiting for him. so they got it going on in the 69 position. the next day bob went back to the doctor and the doctor asked “so how did it go?” and bob answered “not so good, when i fired the pistol, my wife bit off three inches of my dick, shit in my face, and my naghbor came out of the closet naked with his hands up.

sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me!