Category: seniors

1.Throw a suprise party for a man turning 90.
2.Feed them pepperoni pizza abd soda at lunch.
3.Start an orge at 8:00 at night.
4.Make them watch Temtaion Island.
5.Give them all Gameboys.
6.Put Huge Hefner in there den.
7.Put Comedy Central in there television.
8.Get Chris Rock to do comunity service.
9.Tell the men to double there viagra dose.
10.Play hardcore gangster rap music while they are sleeping.

– You can live without sex but not without glasses.

– Your back goes out more than you do.

– You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks
into the room.

– You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

– You are proud of your lawn mower.

– Your best friend is dating someone half their age … and
isn’t breaking any laws.

– You sing along with the elevator music.

– You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

– You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

– You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.

– You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

– You make an appointment to see the dentist.

– You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

– Neighbors borrow your tools.

– People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

– You answer a question with, “Because I said so!”

– You send money to PBS.

– The end of your tie doesn’t come anywhere near the top of your
pants.

– You wear black socks with sandals.

– You know what the word “equity” means.

– You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to
watch television.

– You talk about “good grass” and you’re referring to someone’s
lawn.

– You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

– You got cable for the weather channel.

– You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

Jenny’s grandfather recently died of a heart attack. After the
funeral, she is talking privately with her grandmother. Jenny
asks, “How did it happen”

The grandmother replies, “It happened on Sunday during sex.”

Shocked and appalled, Jenny asks, “Well, isn’t it kind of asking
for trouble if you’re having sex at the age of 89?”

“No! Of course not, deary, we do it every Sunday! We even did
it in time with the church bells. You know, in with the dings,
out with the dongs.”

Granny starts crying now and Jenny politely asks, “Whats wrong?”

Her grandmother exclaims balling her ass off, “If only it wasn’t
for that damn ice cream truck!!!”