Category: school

17 is a cyclic number – its digits always appear in the same order but will rotate around when multiplied by any number from 1 to 6:

17 x 1 = 17

17 x 2 = 285714

17 x 3 = 71

17 x 4 = 571428

17 x 5 = 71

17 x 6 = 857142

Pretty cool, huh?

Now multiply 17 by 7.

The teacher of the school geography class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked:

“Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”

After a confused silence, little Johnny volunteered –
“I guess you’d be eating alone!”

How do you know a Brigham Young student’s been mowing the lawn?
The welcome mat is destroyed.

41. Devote your math lecture to free verse about your favorite numbers and ask students to “sit back and groove”. 42. Announce that last year’s students have almost finished their class projects. 43. Inform your English class that they need to know Fortran and code all their essays. Deliver a lecture on output format statements. 44. Wear a feather boa and ask students to call you “Snuggles”. 45. Tell your math students that they must do all their work in a base 11 number system. Use a complicated symbol you’ve named after yourself in place of the number 10 and threaten to fail students who don’t use it. 46. Address students as “worm”. 47. Stop in mid-lecture, frown for a moment, and then ask the class whether your butt looks fat. 48. Claim to be a chicken. Squat, cluck, and produce eggs at irregular intervals. 49. Give an opening monologue. Take two minute “commercial breaks” every ten minutes. 50. Of course, the most fun thing to do on the first day of class is to enjoy yourself, sleep in, and let the students wonder if they found the right room!

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.165. Make pancakes every morning, but don’t eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your “pancake farm” isn’t evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide in your roommate that you think the king of the pancakes has been taking bribes.

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.3. Employ the vernacular.4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.6. Remember to never split an infinitive.7. Contractions aren’t necessary.8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.9. One should never generalize.10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

A- alcohol: the key to surviving college.
b- beer: it’s whats for dinner.
c- class: what you’re supposed to get up and go to after a thursday night
party.
d- dancing: a favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks
pathetic.
e- emergency: the keg is empty or there is no one over 21 in your
drinking party.
f- f*cked up: signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out.
g- games: anything that involves cards, quarters and chugging beers.
h- hang-over: reminds you of how great last night was and how much you drank.
i- ignorant: the way you act after drinking way too much.
j- jail: where you’ll end up after trying to use a fake id or stagger home.
k- kissing: what you’ll do to anything that moves after 15 beers.
l- lord: person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol.
m- money: that which you no longer have due to too much partying.
n- not again!: what you scream when you wake up beside someone you don’t
know.
o- oh s***!: what you say as you’re falling down the stairs.
p- pee: what you have to do every five minutes while you’re drinking beer.
q- quilt: what you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the
morning. yuck!
r- reform: what you promise god you will do while you’re puking in the
toilet.
s- sex: what you did with that person you met last night while you were
drunk.
t- twenty-four: the number of beers it takes to get drunk.
u- underage: most of the drinking population in college town.
v- vodka: the mother of all alcohols and the best way to make jello.
w- worm: the part of tequila that that you don’t mind eating after you’ve
consumed the whole bottle.
x- x-ray: how they can see into your stomach before they pump it.(detox)
y- yourself: the one who drinks way too much every week-end.
z- zima: zomething different.

ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK:

12% Monday 23% Tuesday 40% Wednesday 20% Thursday 5% Friday

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.60. Find out your roommate’s post office box code. Open it and take his/her mail. Do this for one month. After that, send the mail to him/her by UPS.

A grade school teacher comes into class one morning to find a litany of dirty words written all over the blackboard. She is very upset and tells the class to close its eyes and count to thirty. During that time, she says, the person who did it should erase the words. The class and the teacher close their eyes, and, after the time is up, open them. The board is indeed erased, except for a small note in the bottom of the board.

“Fuck you, teacher. The phantom strikes again!”

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good . . . mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.”
Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: “Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.”

Why don’t Purdue athletes eat pickles?
They can’t get their heads in the jar.