Category: riddles

Q:Why Doesn’t Iowa have a pro football team?A:Because then Chicago would want one too.Q:What do you call a QB that just got sacked by Gilbert brown?A:Road KillQ:What do the call a drug circle in Dallas?A:a HuddleQ:Why can’t Michael Irvin be in the huddle anymore?A:His probation doesn’t allow him to be around known felonsQ:Why did the bears want to sign Michael Irvin?A:They already had a Fridge now they want a coke machine

Why do they put the soap detergaint Joy on the top shelf?

So that you jump for Joy.

What was Elvis’s last hit?

The bathroom floor!!!!

Why did the bride wear her ring on the wrong
hand?

Because she married the wrong person.

What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexics Association.

If a rooster lays an egg right on the point of a roof, which way does it
roll down?

Roosters doesn’t lay eggs!

Dennis sinned.Dennis and Edna sinned.Dennis, Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen sinned.Lonely Tylenol.If I had a hi-fi.Rise to vote, sir.Bombard a drab mob.Emit no tot on time.O, stone, be not so.Lager, sir, is regal.No, it is opposition.Pull up if I pull up.Niagara, O roar again.Yawn a more Roman way!A car, a man, a maraca.Rot can rob a born actor.Sit on a potato pan, Otis!Rats live on no evil star.Ma is as selfless as I am.Suppository rot; I sop pus.Ten animals I slam in a net.Some men interpret nine memos.Eros? Sidney, my end is sore!Lived on Decaf, Faced no Devil.I, man, am regal; a German am I.Golf? No sir, prefer prison flog.Go hang a salami, I’m a lasagna hog.Tulsa nightlife: filth, gin, a slut.Dog, as a devil deified, lived as a god.Anne, I vote more cars race Rome to Vienna.Straw? No, too stupid a fad; I put soot on warts.Now, Ned, I am a maiden nun; Ned, I am a maiden won.Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?To: Dr., et al. / Re: Grub / Ma had a hamburger / Later, Dot.Doc, note, I dissent: a fast never prevents a fatness; I diet on cod.T. Eliot, top bard, notes putrid tang emanating, is sad. I’d assign it a name: gnat dirt upset on drab pot-toilet.

How do you get a 96 year old lady to say fuck?
Get another one to scream bingo.

What has a lot of balls and fucks old ladies?
A bingo machine.

When David came home from school one day, he found Sue laying dead on the
floor. She was surounded by broken glass and water. How did Sue die?

Sue is a fish. Her bowl was knocked over.

What word is this? The first two letters are a man’s name. The first three
letters are a woman’s name. The first four letters are of a famous man’s
name. The whole word is a famous woman’s name.

Heroine.

What do you call an amish guy with his hand up a horses butt?

A mechanic!

Q. Why was Washington buried standing up? A. He never lied!