Category: riddles

(answers at bottom)

Questions

1) What starts with F, ends with K, and brings excitement with
it?

2) What does a dog do, that a human steps in?

3) If a rooster lays an egg on the very top edge of a barn,
which direction will the egg fall?

4) In New Zealand, is there a fourth of July?

Riddles

1) She stands straight and tall
With much grace and pose
Yet the longer she lives
The shorter she grows
What is she?

2) A smooth blanket
Speckled with white
Sometimes so dark
Somethimes so light
What is it?

Math and Logic

1) Sally’s mother has three daughters. The first is named
Nickel, the second is Dime. What is the third daughter’s name?

2) There is a tree. After its first year, the tree was one foot
tall. Every year after that, this tree doubles its height until
it is fifty years of age and stops growing. How old was this
tree when it was exactly half its final height?

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Answers

Questions

1) Firetruck
2) Pants
3) No way. Roosters don’t lay eggs
4) Yes. It comes between the third and the fifth.

Riddles

1) A candle.
2) The sky.

Math and Logic

1) Sally
2) 49

Genius results
8 = The next Einstein
7 = Genius
6 = Pretty darn smart
5 = Clever
4 = Average
3 = Below average
2 = Not so bright
1 = Complete idiot
0 = Mentally retarded and incapable of dressing his/her self
(this does not apply to children under the age of five)

What do you call two guys with no arms or legs in the window?

– Kurt and Rod.

What do you get when you cross an alligator with a skunk?

– Shoes that no one will wear, and purses that no one will open.

What kind of a tree fights in a war?

A mili-tree.

A woman went to Carnival in Cadiz, Spain where everyone must
dress up for the occassion. She wanted a costume no one had ever
seen before. So she took off all her clothes and painted
everything on her body except for her pussy white. What was she?

She was a tooth with a cavity!

What has a bunch of little balls and screws old ladies once a
week?

Bingo!

What did Helen Keller do when she fell in a well?

She screamed her hand off.

Why did the gum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

Q: What did the girl melon say to the boy melon??A: We’re too young, we cantaloupe!

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?What happens if you get scared half to death twice?Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.OK, so what’s the speed of dark?All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

Q. What does Captain Kirk and Toliet Paper have incommon?
A. They both fly around Uranus looking for Klingons

Q. What is the difference between a TreKKKer and a TreKKKie?
A. A TreKKKer objects to Spock because he is part Vulcan — A TreKKKie complains that Spock is part Human.

Q. What do you find in the toilet on the USS Enterprise?
A.The Captain’s Log!

Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, ‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’ The other replied, ‘Yes I am, I married the wrong man.’Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s.A little boy asked his father, ‘Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?’ And the father replied, ‘I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.’Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in most countries, son.Then there was a man who said, ‘I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy – we wonder why.Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, ‘You know, I was a fool when I married you.’ And the husband replied, ‘Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.’It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds : ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.A woman was telling her friend , ‘It is I who made my husband a millionaire.’ ‘And what was he before you married him.’ Asked the friend. The woman replied, ‘ A multi-millionaire’.