What’s Irish and sits outside in the summertime?
– Paddy O’Furniture!
Category: riddles
How do you starve a hippie?…
How do you starve a hippie?
– Hide the food stamps under the soap.
Copycats
There are 12 copycats in a boat. One jumps out. How many are left?
There are none left.
What did the fish say when he swam into the brick wall?
Dam!
What Do You Call
What do you call the crust in a woman’s underpants?
Clitty litter.
Brothers
A kid named John was born two minutes after his brother Tim, yet
they are not twins. How is this so?
There is another brother, they are triplets.
Why did the chicken cross half way across…
Why did the chicken cross half way across the road?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Witch
There was this witch that was zapped into a room by an evil spell. The
room had no windows, no doors, no chimney, and no other opening to the
outside world! The only things that was in there was a mirror, and a
table. Now this witch had to find a way outta there!
Q: How did she get out?
A: She looked in the mirror, she sees what she saw. She pulled out the saw
and cut the table in half. Two halves make a hole, and she crawled out the
hole!
yikes
Q: How do you fit four gay guys on one bar stool?
A: Turn it over.
Q: Whats the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant
girl.
A: You can un-screw the lightbulb.
Bus Driver
You are driving a bus. At the first stop 10 people get on the bus. At the
second stop five people get on and two people get off. At the third stop
three people get on and five people get off. At the fourth stop six people
get on and nobody gets off. At the fifth stop everbody gets off. What is
the name of the bus driver?
You are the bus driver.
Why are there fences around cemetaries?…
Why are there fences around cemetaries?
Because people are dying to get in!
Whats worse?
Q. Whats brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. Whats worse than two possums up a tree?
A. Two trees up a possum.
Q. How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?
A. You wave to him.
Q. Why did the leper leave the party?
A. People kept dipping chips into him.
Q. What do you do when someone has a fit while taking a bath?
A. Throw in the clothes washing.
Q. What do you call ten lepers in a pool?
A. Soup.
Q. What do you call an epaleptic in a tree?
A. Russel.
Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
A. Doug.
Q. What do you call a man without a shovel in his head?
A. Dougless.
Q. What do you call a man lying on your doorstep?
A. Matt.
Q. What do you call a lady sitting on a toothpick?
A. Olive.
Q. What do you call a lady slewn over a clothes line?
A. Peg.
Q. What do you call a lady splatted on the wall?
A. Murial.
Q. What do you call a man splatted on the wall?
A. Art.
Q. Whats worse than ten babies in a bucket?
A. One baby in ten buckets.