Category: riddles

Why is a pool table green?

If you had that many balls, you would be green too.

What did one strawberry say to the other?

If you had listened to me we wouldn’t get stuck in this jam!

What are two things you can never eat for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.

1. “The beginning of eternity,
The end of time and space,
The beginning of every end,
And the end of every place.”

2. “I never was, am always to be,
None ever saw me, nor ever will,
And yet I am the confidence of all
Who live and breathe on this terrestrial ball.”

3. “At night they come without being fetched, and by
day they are lost without being stolen.”

4. “Fatherless and motherless,
Born without a skin,
Spoke when it came into the world,
And never spoke again.”

5. “What gets wet when drying.”

6. “There was a green house.
Inside the green house there was a white house.
Inside the white house there was a red house.
Inside the red house there were a lot of black babies.”

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ANSWERS:

1. The letter “E”.

2. Tomorrow.

3. Stars.

4. A fart.

5. A towel

6. A watermelon.

Q…Why should elephants wear condoms on their feet??A…Because if they stand on you, you’re fucked!!!

What’s the difference between a circus and a whorehouse?

A circus has a cunning array of stunts.

What starts with F, ends with K, and rhymes with luck?

Answer: Firetruck

Whats in every boys pants, and varys in sizes?

Answer: Legs

Whats on girls chests, and can be big or small?

Answer: There stomach

And now the grand Question, to see if you have a SICK mind.

What am I?

I vary in sizes, and I sometimes throth at the mouth, when the
liquid comes out, the girls laugh and mop it up, I enjoy
sticking my head out the window to be blown, what am i?

A Dog!

What did you think?

I am known to men and women around the world, and I have a name
of three letters. When two of my letters are taken away, I still
have the same name. What am I?

Tea!

What is a “zebra”?

26 sizes larger than an “A” bra.

1. A man builds a house with all four sides facing south. A bear walks
past the house. What colour is the bear?

2. Before the days of motor cars, a man rode into town on his horse. He
arrived on Friday, spent three days in town and left on Friday. How is
that possible?

3. Can a man legally marry his widow’s sister in the state of Arkansas?

4. How much dirt is in a hole four feet deep and two feet wide?

ANSWERS:

1. White. The house is built directly on the North Pole.

2. The horse’s name was Friday.

3. No — he is dead.

4. There’s no dirt in a hole.

A boy was in class and he raised his hand and asked his teacher,
“What’s so bad about Russia?” His teacher said, “thats it, young
man, go to the principles office.”

The boy walked into the principles office and the priciple asked
him what he was doing there. The boy said “I was in class, and I
asked my teacher a question, and she sent me here.” The
principle said “What was the question?” The boy replied “What’s
so bad about Russia?” The principle shouted, “You are suspended
for two weeks.”

The boy walked into his house. His mother asked, “What are you
doing home so early?” The boy replied, “I was in class, and I
asked the teacher a question. The teacher sent me to the
principle’s office. I asked the priciple the question and he
suspended me for two weeks.” The mother said, “Well, what’s the
question?” “What’s so bad about Russia?” The boy responded. “Go
up to your room and wait for your father to get home.” His
mother shouted.

The father walked into his boys room and said “So, I herd you
got in trouble at school today. What happened?” The boy said, “I
was in class and I asked the teacher a question and she sent me
to the principle’s office. I asked him and he suspended me for
two weeks. I asked mom, and she sent me up here.” “So, what’s
the question?” The father asked. “What’s so bad about Russia?”
The boy said. The father picked him up and threw him out the
window.

A cop saw all this and asked the boy what happened. The boy
said, “I was in class and I asked the teacher a question and she
sent me to the principle’s office. I asked him and he suspended
me for two weeks. I asked mom, and she sent me up to my room. I
asked dad and he threw me out the window.” “So, what’s the
question?” The cop asked. “What’s so bad about russia?” The boy
said. “That’s it young man, your going to reformed school.”

The first day at school, his new teacher asked him why he was
there. The boy said, “At my old school, I was in class and I
asked the teacher a question and she sent me to the principle’s
office. I asked him and he suspended me for two weeks. I asked
mom, and she sent me up to my room. I asked dad and he threw me
out the window. Then I saw a cop and asked him, and he sent me
here.” “So, what’s the question?” The teacher asked. “What’s so
bad about Russia?” The boy said. “That’s it young man, go to the
principle’s office.” Said the rather flustered teacher.

He walked into the principle’s office, and the principle said,
“In trouble already? What happened?” The boy said “At my old
school, I was in class and I asked the teacher a question and
she sent me to the principle’s office. I asked him and he
suspended me for two weeks. I asked mom, and she sent me up to
my room. I asked dad and he thew me out the window. Then I saw a
cop and asked him, and he sent me here. Then I asked my teacher
and she sent me to your office.” “So, what’s the question?” The
principle asked. “What’s so bad about Russia?” The boy asked.
“That’s it, I’m sending you to Russia.”

So the boy is in Russia for the very first day, and he walks out
of the airport. Right after walking out, he gets hit by a bus.

Q: Whats the moral of the story?

A: Look both ways before crossing the street.

Why does the king stand on the balcony high above the people?

So he can pee on the peons.