Category: riddles

Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?A) Doesn’t matter…he won’t come to you anyway!Q) What do you call a girl with one leg?A) Ilene!Q) What do you call a guy at your front door with no legs or arms?A) Matt!Q) What do you call the SAME guy in a pool?A) BOB!

There was this guy and he was pushing his silver car down the road and
then he had to stop at a red hotel. When he stopped he got mad. Why did he
get mad?

Because he was playing Monopoly and he had to pay money since he landed on
a hotel spot!

Q: Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How can you tell one is the prostitute??? A: It’s the one with the sticker that says IDAHO.

Q: What’s the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky’s mouth?A: 1 U.S. leaderQ: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?A: A cherry float.Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?A: Beat it – we’re closed.Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?A: To find a tight seal.Q: What’s the difference between sin and shame?A: It is a sin to put it in, but it’s a shame to pull it out.Q: What’s the speed limit of sex?A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio’s face, and moaning, “Lie to me!”Q: Why is air a lot like sex?A: Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?A: K9P.Q: What’s another name for pickled bread?A: Dill-dough.Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky’s cheeks so puffy?A: She’s withholding evidence.Q: What’s the difference between light and hard?A: You can sleep with a light on.Q: Why is sex like a bridge game?A: You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand.Q: What’s the height of conceit?A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.Q: What’s the definition of macho?A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy.Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?A: Their balls are just for decoration.Q: Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?A: Because it scares the hell out of the dog.Q: Why is divorce so expensive?A: Because it’s worth it.

How do you make five pounds of fat look good?

Add a nipple.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?

A. A dictator.

What do you call it when you have a hard time breathing through
your ass?
?
?
Assma!

What has ears but can’t hear?

An ear of corn!

Whats the diffrence between a bad glofer and a bad skydiver.?

A bad golfer goes WACK… Shit!

A bad skydiver goes Shit!… WACK!

Q: what do you see when the doughboy bends over?A: doughnuts

I’m a pain but I do not hurt? What am I?

Window pane.

Who was the worst golfplayer of all time?

– Adolf Hitler, he never got out of the bunker.