Category: rednecks

You’re a redneck if…. “Buck Naked Line Dancing” isn’t videotape, it’s
“Ladies Night” at the local bar.

You know you are the Redneck if�

Your yard has been proposed as a new landfill site.
Your kid’s birth announcements include the phrase “rug rat�.
Your pocket knife has ever been referred to as “Exhibit A�.
Your sister has a “Soldier of Fortune” subscription.
Your wife is sister and your daughter
You’ve ever stood in line more than 1 hour to get your picture taken with a
freak of nature.
Your bank checks feature pictures of dogs fighting.
You’ve ever stabbed someone’s hand while reaching for the last pork chop.
On Christmas eve, you left Santa a beer and a Slim Jim.

When you put your hunting boots on you only get them on the right feet 50% of the time.Your idea of a neighborhood watch program is tuning into “America’s Most Wanted”.You own more than two clappers.

A hillbilly was going to send his boy to school and was discussing with the principal what courses he should take.

The principal was talking about math courses and suggested he would probably later on take geometry and trigonometry.

The hillbilly heard this and said “Great! Be sure and give him lot’s of that there triggernometry! He’s got to be the worst shot with a rifle of anybody I have ever seen!”

You’re a redneck if…. You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.

You might be a Redneck..

If grocery shopping includes the
Road-Kill aisle.

You think potted meat on a saltine is a hors d’oeuvre.

BACKUP: What you do when you run over a skunk in the woods.
BAR CODE: Theme�s the fight�s rules down at the local tavern.
BUG: The reason you give for calling in sick.
BYTE: What your pit bull dun to cousin Metro.
CACHE: Needed when you run out of food stamps.
CHIP: Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.
COMPUTER TERMINAL: Time to call the undertaker.
CRASH: When you go to Junior’s party uninvited.
DIGITAL: The art of counting on your fingers.
DISKETTE: A female Disco dancer.
FAX: What you lie about to the IRS.
HACKER: Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.
INTERNET: Where cafeteria workers keep their hair.
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.
MAC: Big Bubba’s favorite fast food.
MEGAHERTZ: How your head feels after 17 beers.
MODEM: What yaw do when the grass gets too high.
MOUSE PAD: Where Mickey and Minnie live.
NETWORK: Scoop�s up a big fish before it breaks the line.
ONLINE: Where you stay when taking the sobriety test.
ROM: Where the pope lives.
SCREEN: Helps keep the skitters off the porch.
SERIAL PORT: A red wine you drink with breakfast.
SUPERCONDUCTOR: Amtrak’s Employee of the year.
SCSI: What you call your week-old underwear

How did the redneck die drinking milk?
The cow sat on him!

Ford lovers say that Chevys are built like a rock because they do not move.

You’re a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.Your parakeet knows the phrase “Open up, Police!”

you know your a redneck if u go to a family renuion looking for a girlfriend