Category: rednecks

You’re a redneck if…. Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

You might be a redneck if you go to cut the grass and find a car.

You’re a redneck if ….
The Health Inspector visits your mother�s restaurant and asks to see the body
fluid clean up kit, and she points at the dog.

What do you call 32 Rednecks in one room?

A full set of teeth.

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis

YOUNG Dave was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Dave’s porch watching the sun go down over the hills, Dave spied his prize bull doing the `usiness on one of his cows.

He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the hard word on Mabel. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, “Mabel, I’d sure like to be doing what that bull is doing.”

“Well then, why don’t you? “Mabel whispered back. “It is YOUR cow.”

You might be a redneck if you have more than one living relative named after a
southern civil war general.

You’ve ever been kicked out of the KIKE for being a “bigot�.

You’re a redneck if …. You think the stock market is a place to buy hogs.

What does a bottle of wine and Sammy Sosa got in common? **They both popped
their cork!

There were two old boys from Alabama who love to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They’d heard about it up in Canada, and they took off up there. The lake was frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said, “We’re going to need an ice pick.”

So they got that, and they took off. In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, “We’re going to need another dozen ice picks.”

Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn’t. He sold him the picks, and the old boy left.

In about an hour, he was back. Said, “We’re going to need all the ice picks you’ve got.”

The bait man couldn’t stand it any longer. “By the way,” he asked, “how are you fellows doing?”

“Not very well at all,” he said. “We don’t even have the boat in the water yet.”

You think Wal-Mart is expensive.You’ve got more guns “On Display” than Wal-Mart Sporting Goods.You have ever written a check for less than a dollar.

On stag night, you take a real deer.You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.Your back porch is bigger than your house.