Category: rednecks

One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big
potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack.
When he asked, the man said, ”I got me some chickens for dinner tonight.
Mom… Chicken sure sounds good tonight.”

The other one wanted to know how many chickens were in the sack.

”Well I’ll tell you,” replied the man, ��if you can guess how many chickens
I got in this here sack I’ll give them both to you.”

There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other,
who feuded constantly. Amos hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a
chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence.
This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a
bridge across that river. Amos was elated; he told his wife that finally he was
going to get the chance to cross over and whoop Clarence.
He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes.
His wife asked what was wrong, didn’t he intend to go over the bridge and
whoop Clarence?
He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn’t realize
his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: “CLEARANCE 8 FT 3
IN.”

You’re a redneck if ….
You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like
Daytona Beach, Florida.

You’re a redneck if …. You are known for your homemade squash wine.

You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something.Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

you might be a redneck if you describe everything you as “mavaluss”

How much wood, would a red naked chick if a red naked could chick wood.

Two men from Canada were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something.The first man says to the other, “If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you.”After about three hours, the second man finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo.The next morning, the first man finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the first man if he did what he told him to do.The man answers, “Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows.”

You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.Your bumper sticker says, “My other car is a combine.”The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.

You’re a redneck if…. When you see a sign that says “Say No To Crack!” it
reminds you to pull up your jeans.

Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer
who lived nearby heard the noise. “Hey Wilmer!” the farmer yelled. “Forget your
troubles. Come in and have a bite with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up.”

“That’s mighty nice of you�, Wilmer answered. “But I don’t think Pa would like
me to.”
“Aw, come on.” the farmer insisted.
“Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added�, But Pa won’t like it.”
After a hearty dinner, Wilmer thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but
I know Pa is going to be real upset.”
“Don’t be foolish!” the neighbor said with a smile. “By the way, where is your
Pa?”
Wilmer replied, “Under the wagon�.