Category: rednecks

you mite be a red neck if your cruse controle is a brick on the gas

You’ve ever been blacklisted from a bowling alley.

Two rednecks were sitting on their porch one afternoon and looked down at their dog who was licking his dick. One of the the guys looked at the other and said, ”I wish that I could do that.” The other one then said, ”Ooooh, that dog would bite you.”

You’re a redneck if …. You painted racing flames on the John Deere.

A cat drowns in your satellite dish.

Two boys are playing football in the Golden Gate Park when a Rottweiler
attacks one. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby
fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dog’s neck. A
reporter who is strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the
boy. “‘Forty Miners’ fan saves friend from vicious animal”, he starts writing in
his notebook. “But I’m not a Miners fan�, the boy replies. “‘Oakland Raiders’
fan rescues friend from horrific attack�, says the reporter as he writes in his
notebook. “I’m not a Raiders fan either,” the boy says. “Then what are you?” the
reporter asks. “I’m a Cowboys fan!!!” the boy says proudly. The reporter starts
a new sheet in his notebook and writes, “Redneck bastard kills family pet!”

You might be a redneck if…
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You go to the dentist for a “Tooth Cleaning”.You pull up to a gas station in a limo to buy a can of Skoal.Your boyfriend gives you car parts for your birthday, and you like it.

You might be a redneck if you think fast food is hitting a dear at 65mph.

You’ve ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Q: How many rednecks does take to eat possum?
A: Three. One to eat it and two to look out for cars.

You’re a redneck if…. You wear your ball cap when you eat in a restaurant.