Yours Fun Portal !
Imagine what is happening!
Put 2 cherrys on your head.
Take one off and eat it.
Now chop off your head.
Then put it under your arm.
Take off the other cherry and eat it.
Did you eat it at your real mouth or the mouth under your arm.
If you ate it from your real mouth unlucky.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Passionate kiss like spider’s web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright
organ.
Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
War doesn’t determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fishes in other man’s well often catches crabs.
Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
Man who drops watch in toilet bound to have crappy time.
Crowded elevator smells different to midget.
An elderly couple visiting Russia are taken on a tour of Red
Square by a young man named Rudolph. The weather is frigid.
After a short time, it begins to rain. The husband (evidently
not used to cold weather) remarks, “It’s snowing!”
To which young Rudolph replies, “No, it’s raining.”
The elderly man, miffed, states again, “It’s snowing!”
Rudolph repeats, “It’s raining.”
The older man’s wife turns to her husband. “Rudolph the Red
knows rain, dear.”
A general store owner hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk, and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. ‘I`d like some raisin bread, please,’ the man says politely.The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, located on the very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with an excellent view.As the clerk retrieves the bread, a small group of male customers gather around the young man, looking in the same direction. Pretty soon each person is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.After a few trips the clerk is tired and irritated. She stops and fumes at the top of the ladder, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the throng. ‘Is yours raisin too?’ the clerk yells testily.’No,’ croaks the feeble old man….’But it’s startin’ to twitch.’Bonus Joke: If a case of the clap spreads, is it called applause?
Knock, knock?
Whos there?
Megan and chicken
Megan and chicken who?
He’s megan a list and chicken it twice, he’s gonna find out whos naughty and nice…
An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. “Correct,” said the chief. “How did you figure it out?” The warrior answered, “It’s elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.”
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”
So this guy wants to go into a nightclub, but the bouncer says –
“Sorry, bud, you need a tie for this place.”
Our Hero goes back to his car and rummages around, but there’s no necktie to be found.
Finally, in desperation, he takes his jumper cables, wraps them around his neck, ties a nice knot, and lets the ends dangle free.
He goes back to the nightclub, where the bouncer says…
“Well, OK, I guess you can come in. But don’t start anything!”
A young boy had a job bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store decided to install a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice.
The young lad was most intrigued by this machine, and he asked if he could be allowed to work the machine. The manager refused, but the youngster couldn’t understand why not.
The store manager explained it to him:
“Sorry, kid, but baggers can’t be juicers.”
Patient: Doctor, people tell me I’m a wheelbarrow. Psychiatrist: Don’t let people push you around.
The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman.”Mrs. Fitzgerald,” the reverend said sternly. “This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don’t you let me take you home?” “Shure,” she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.When Mrs. Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realised that she had had too much to drink and he grabbed hold of her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.The bartender looked over the bar and said, “Here, here, buddy, we won’t have any of that carrying on in this bar.”The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, “But you don’t understand, I’m Pastor Fuzz.”The bartender nodded. “Well if you’re that far you may as well finish.”
One day a family of olives goes for a walk. As Momma Olive and
Dadda Olive walk across the street, they are unaware of how
behind Baby Olive is. Along comes a big ol’ truck and runs over
Baby Olive.
“Oh My God!!!” Momma and Dadda Olive scream as they run over to
Baby Olive. “Are you alright??” they ask. Baby Olive simply
replies, “Olive.”
LoL get it? I’ll Live??