Category: politics

One day, George W. Bush was leaving a very interesting meeting of the United
Nations. Once stepping outside, he was met by the Iraqi ambassador, and he
started to talk to George. “You know, George, my children are here on this trip
with me to the States, and they have gained interest in your television
programs. They have especially like the television show Star Trek, although one
thing is bothering them about it…The show shows how the races of the Earth can
come together in the starship Enterprise, although, they have never seen an
Iraqi citizen aboard the ship, and they were just wondering; Why is that?”
George chuckles a little and gives him a short answer to his question. “Because
it takes place in the FUTURE!”

A killer game (okay, it’s really stupid)Kill Saddam (304K)Note: Our “Send this Joke to A Friend” email thingy doesn’t transmit programs. But if you see this in email, you can click on the link above!

It was so cold outside, I saw a politician that had his hands in his
OWN pockets.

A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was
a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic
had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the
cop what was wrong. The cop said, “Man we are in a crisis situation. Mr. Clinton
is in the road very upset. He does not have the $33.5 million that he owes his
lawyers, and his family hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in
gasoline and start a fire.” The marine asked the cop exactly what he was doing
there.” The cop said, ” I feel sorry for the president so I am going car to car
asking for donations.” The marine asked, “How much do you have so far?” The cop
replied, “Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are still
siphoning as we speak!”

President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an
administration foul up, Clinton were sent to heaven and the Pope to hell. The
Pope explained the situation to the Devil. He checked out all of the paperwork,
called the Pearly Gates admitting office, and the error was acknowledged. The
Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem.

The next day the Pope was called in, the Devil said his good-bye, and he began
his journey to heaven. Along the way, he met Clinton, who was on his way down.
They stopped to chat.

The Pope said, “Sorry about the mix-up. By the time you get to hell, it’s
really too late to save any souls.”

Clinton replied, “No problem. I’m sure I’ll be with more familiar company down
below, anyway.”

The Pope continued, “Well, I’m really excited about going to heaven.”

“Why’s that?” Clinton asked.

“All my life I’ve wanted to meet the Virgin Mary,” the Pope replied.

“Oh,” said Clinton. “I’m afraid you’re a day late.”

Did you hear why the Republicans moved out of the out-house?
The democrats downstairs were making too much noise.

What do Monica and Bill Clinon have most in common?

They’re both going down.

What does Monica Lewinsky have on her Resume?

“Sat on the Presidential Staff”

A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner. One turned to the other and said, “You know why I’m going to win this election? Because of my ‘personal touch.’ For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me.”
“Oh, really?” replied the other. “I always tip them a nickel and ask them to vote for you.”

15> Sit & Sin

14> Oil Patch Kids

13> Machine-Gun Jesus and His Commando Disciples

12> Tickle Me Akbar

11> Operation: Covert Edition

10> Mullah Hoop

9> Who Isn’t Already a Millionaire? board game

8> Jihad Joe

7> Partially Exposed Lego

6> My Little Camel

5> Mr. Fellato Head

4> Monopoly: Blood-Sucking Oil Cartel Edition

3> Saudi Doody

2> Oy! Story Action Figures

1> Winnie the Jew

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]

[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]

STATE OF OKLAHOMA

From: The office of the Governor

To: All Male Citizens of Oklahoma

GENTLEMEN:

The only thing this great state of Oklahoma has not yet taxed is your peter.
Mostly because 90% of the time it is not working and 2% of the time, it is in
the hole. Also, because it has two dependents who are nuts. However, beginning
January 1, 1998, your peter will be taxed according to size using the
chart below to determine your category:

4 to 6 inches – NUISANCE TAX.
8 to 10 inches – POLE TAX.
10 to 12 inches – LUXURY TAX.

All peters under 4 inches will receive a refund. Please insert this
information on Page 2, Section E, of your State of Oklahoma tax form.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION.

One day a cannibal visited the neighboring island of cannibals. There, people cost $2 but politicians cost $25.

The visiting cannibal asked, “How come politicians cost so much?”

The chief answered, “Do you know how hard it is to clean one of those?”