Category: politics

Bush and Saddam

Posted on by admin

Saddam Hussein and President George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices 3 buttons on the side of Saddam’s chair.

They begin talking. After about 5 minutes, Saddam presses the first button.

A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs.

A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the 2 countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he’s finally had enough, knowing that he can’t do much else but say “I’m going back home!” he tells the Iraqi. “We’ll finish these talks in two weeks!”

Two weeks pass and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. Asthe 2 men sit down, Hussein notices 3 buttons on Bush’s chair and prepares himself for the American’s revenge.

They begin talking and Saddam is uncooperative, Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Bush snickers.

A few seconds later, as Hussein continues his belligerence, Bush presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter.

As things progress, then the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.

“Forget this,” says Saddam. “I’m going back to Baghdad!”

Bush then says through tears of laughter, “What Baghdad?”

Presidential Quiz

Posted on by admin

A – Bill Clinton
B – Warren G. Harding
C – Andrew Jackson
D – Thomas Jefferson
E – Lyndon B. Johnson
F – John F. Kennedy
G – Franklin D. Roosevelt
H – George Washington

1. Which president smoked marijuana with a nude playgirl while he joked about being too wasted to “push the button” in case of nuclear attack?

2. Which president allegedly had affairs with both a winner AND a finalist in the Miss America pageant?

3. Which president had sex with one of his secretaries stretched out atop a desk in the oval office?

4. Which president allegedly had an affair (as well as children) with a slave who was his wife’s half sister?

5. Which president called his mistress “Pookie”?

6. Which president married a woman who hadn’t yet divorced her first husband, and was branded an “adulterer” during his re-election campaign?

7. Which future president wrote love letters to his neighbor’s wife while he was engaged to someone else?

8. Which president had a torrid affair with the first lady’s personal secretary?

9. Which president had sex with a young woman in a White House coat closet – at one point, while a secret service agent prevented the hysterical first lady from attacking them?

10. Which president had sex in a closet while telling his partner about the *other* president who did the same in a closet? (The one from Question 9)?

11. Which vice president was ticked off because he felt that HIS record of sexual conquests was much more “impressive” (i.e. numerous) than the President’s?

12. Which future president, while a college student, enjoyed showing off his p***s (which he named Jumbo)?

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Scroll down for answers …

ANSWERS

1. F
2. A
3. E
4. D
5. A
6. C
7. H, E
8. G, F
9. B
10. F
11. E
12. E