Ribbit Lucky frog

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing . . .
. . . He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the
green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, “Ribbit 9
Iron.”

The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone. Again, he hears, “Ribbit
9 Iron.” He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club
away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog,
“Wow that’s amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?

The frog replies, “Ribbit Lucky frog.”

The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. “What do you think
frog?” the man asks.
“Ribbit 3 wood.”

The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and
doesn’t know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of
golf in his life and asks the frog, “OK where to next?”

The frog replies, “Ribbit Las Vegas.”
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, “OK frog, now what?”
The frog says, “Ribbit Roulette.”
Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, “What do you think I should
bet?”
The frog replies, “Ribbit $3000, black 6.” Now, this is a million-to-one shot
to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of
cash comes sliding back across the table.

The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the
frog down and says, “Frog, I don’t know how to repay you.

You’ve won me all this money and I am forever grateful.”

The frog replies, “Ribbit Kiss Me.” He figures why not, since after all the
frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous
15-year-old girl. “And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room.
So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.”

Answer from Heaven

A little boy wanted $100 so badly that he prayed for two weeks. But nothing
happened; so he decided to write God a letter asking for the money. When the
postal authorities received the letter addressed to “GOD, USA”, hey decided to
send it to President Clinton. Bill was so impressed, touched, and amused that he
instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill.
The little boy was delighted with the $5, and sat down to write a thank you
note to God, which read; “Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the
money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had it sent through
Washington, DC, and as usual, those guys deducted $95.”

Safe Sex

A guy walks into his local bordello and picks out a girl. They go back to
her room and start to discuss prices. She says “It’s $100 for a blow job,
$200 for straight sex, and $250 for a Monica.”

“What’s a Monica?” he asks.

“That’s where I blow you now and screw you later.”