Category: politics

One More Whore And We Get Gore HONK! If you had sex with the President Kennedy = Camelot Clinton = Lie-a-lot Clinton: We forgive you . . .Now Resign! Al Gore: One heartthrob from the Presidency Adultery is NOT a family value Does character matter YET? America needs a President Not a Predator Bill Clinton: Commander in Heat My President Slept with Your Honor Student Jail to the Chief Today kids no longer play doctor, they play President The Clinton Creed: Take Credit Not Responsibility If his private life doesn’t matter, let him date your daughter

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and former Secretary of Defense William Perry wanted to go to Oz, to visit the Wizard of Oz. Bill looked at Al and asked him why he wanted to go. Al said that he needed a brain, and Bill agreed with him. Then, Bill asked the former Secretary of Defense why he wanted to go, and he said that he needed a heart. Bill also agreed with him. Then both looked at Bill and asked him why he was going. He answered, “I’m looking for Dorothy!”

Q: What kind of neckwear does Hillary Clinton look best in?A: A noose.

There was a line in George’s speech where he said I raised taxes one time and I lived to regret it. Bill Clinton did it 132 times and loved every minute.

Did you hear it took three secret service agents to hold Hillary’s hand down during the swearing-in ceremony?

It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A.

Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with an astrologist. He’s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C.

He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, only drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first … no peeking, then scroll down for the response.

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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

Democrats seem to think they have a monopoly on protest.

Republicans announced today that they are changing their emblem from the
elephant to a condom as it more clearly reflects the party’s political
stance.

The condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages
cooperation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives one a sense of security
while screwing others.

NEWS FLASH – GOD ANNOUNCES THE 11TH COMMANDMENT!

During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton has brought about the need for an eleventh commandment.

They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. They began their brain-storming and came up with the 11th.

After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be:

“Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff.”

To the tune of Dion’s “A Teenager in Love” Last night we had a quarrel
Over a cute little tart
‘Cause I lost my head
From the very start. Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?! One day I loved old Hillary
Next day I was a cad
Guess I’m just a rake
A fun lovin’ happy lad. Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?! The dress was smeared
The blouse was too
I’ll be a happy man
If Monica says I do. Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?! If you wanna have sex with me
I’d like to do it too
And if you want to tell a lie
I’ll just go and pardon you. Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

The Supreme Court ruled that there cannot be a nativity
scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas.

This isn’t for any religious reason.

They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the
Nation’s capitol.

There was no problem however finding enough asses to fill the stable.

You’ve tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.