Q: Why does the secret service guard Hillary so closely?A: Because if something happens to her, Bill becomes President!
Category: politics
The fierce civil wars
After agonizing for several days over the situation in former Yugoslavia where ethnic Serbs, Bosnians, and Muslims are engaged in a fierce and bloody civil war, President Clinton today announced that he is strongly in favor of diversity.
Question and answer Clinton joke
Q: Why aren’t Clinton White House staffers given coffee breaks?A: It takes too long to retrain them.
What is Bill’s definition of
What is Bill’s definition of safe sex?
When Hillary is out of town.
Pantyhose
What does Osama Bin Laden and pantyhose have in common?
They both are irritated by Bush.
A Woman’s Plan
A woman and a man got into a really bad car accident. Both
cars are totaled, but luckily no one was hurt.
After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, “Wow,
just look at our cars! They are destroyed. Fortunately, we
aren’t hurt. This must be a sign from God that we should
meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest
of our days.”
The man replied, “I agree with you completely. This must be
a sign from God! ”
The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another
miracle…. My car is completely ruined but this bottle of
wine didn’t break. It’s a sign that God wants us to drink
this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then she handed
the bottle to the man. The man agreed, opened the bottle
and drank half, and then handed it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back
on, and handed it back to the man.
The man asked, “Aren’t you having any?”
The woman replied, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the
police.
What is 3 inches wide
What is 3 inches wide, 8 inches long, and hangs in front of an asshole?
Bill Clinton’s tie
The Top 15 Other Wacky Changes Proposed by PETA
15> Second-term presidents should be referred to as “endangered waterfowl.”
14> Sports teams asked to use only free-range mascots.
13> Fishnet stockings should now be called “catch-and-release hosiery.”
12> Change Iran back to Persia, have Thailand revert to Siam, and change Canada back to Tabby.
11> Carnival Cruises? Now they’re Herbival Cruises.
10> “Beating your meat” now to be known as “petting your hand-raised chinchilla.”
9> “Ladies and gentlemen, here he is! Live by the dashboard light… Tofu Loaf!”
8> Spam luncheon meat? No changes necessary until DNA tests are completed.
7> Reintroduce Wolf Blitzer into the wild.
6> The popular movie-actor-association game shall heretofore be referred to as “Six Degrees of Kevin Tofurkey.”
5> “Easter keg hunts” sound like more fun anyway.
4> As part of their ongoing efforts to stop women from wearing fur, free Brazilian waxes for all!
3> Pamplona, Spain, will now host the Running of the Noses.
2> Tim Russert should be hosting “Tomato the Press.”
1> Demands that other burger chains follow White Castle’s lead in eliminating all meat from its products.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
Last winter Bill Clinton was going for his…
Last winter Bill Clinton was going for his jog when he noticed “Die Bill
Clinton, Die” written in urine in the snow.
He had the Secret Service analyze this writing.
They said that they had good news and they had bad news.
Bill said, “well give me the good news first.”
They said the good news is that it was Al Gores urine.
“What!”, he exclaimed, if that is the Good news, then what could be the bad.
They replied “It was Hillary’s hand writting.”
One day, many years
One day, many years after the Clinton scandal, Hillary is struck by a car and killed. Soon, Hillary finds herself at the gates of Heaven. She sees St. Peter and asks ”Can I get into heaven now?”
He says ”Soon, I have some things to take care of.”
So St. Peter leaves and Hillary looks at the scenery and sees millions of clocks lying around. Every once in a while, a clock or so would turn ahead 15 minutes. Hillary wondered why. Soon, St. Peter came back and Hillary asked ”St. Peter, What are all these clocks for?”
St Peter replies ”Each clock represents a man. Every time a man commits adultry, the clock turns ahead 15 minutes.
Hillary asks ”Where’s my husbands clock?” St. Peter replies ”Oh, it’s in God’s office, he uses it for a fan.”
Clinton in Court
In court, the Judge asked Clinton if he ever asked Monica to lie. He
responded, “No, I just told her to kneel.”
Question and answer Clinton joke
Q: Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?A: If they sent her to a public school, the secret service would be out-gunned!