Category: politics

A gruop of reporters were interviewing Paula Jones. One of the reporters
asked, “Ms. Jones was your relationship with the president anything like
Monica Lewinsky’s?” Paula responded, “Close, but no cigar!”

Greetings prospective White House interns!
This year, our program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America’s
best and brightest to the Nation’s Capitol to help the “Head Man” do his job. We
expect that 1998 will be the most exciting one yet!

Why, you might be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this demanding,
yet rewarding program? Check this out:

* Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political scene of the
hottest city in the world!
* Get up close and personal with some of America’s movers and shakers!
* See rooms in the White House that even a VIP tour won’t show you!
* Get total access to plenty of sensitive Presidential activities!

Sounds like it’s for you? Just listen to this testimonial from a former
intern:

“I couldn’t believe it! After only a few months on the job answering phones
and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing the president. Getting involved in
executive branch affairs is just fantastic.”

— M. Lewinsky, Beverly Hills, Calif.

As you can see, being a White House intern is more than long hours, hot
debates and touchy national issues.

Still interested? Fill out this information form and send it back to the White
House at [email protected]

Name: _________________________

Hometown: _____________________

Sex: F_____ Age: __

Measurements: __ __

(required for medical purposes)

How many beers it takes to get you…

…Giggly:

…Drunk:

…Hot:

…To lie to a federal prosecutor:

Quick quiz:
You’ve always considered the White House:
a) a monument to democracy
b) the place where great leaders meet
c) vaguely erotic
d) extremely erotic

Hillary Clinton is a(n):
a) model wife and mother
b) icon of late 20th century femininity
c) an obstacle
d) inappropriate companion for the leader of the free world

You’ve always wanted to know more about the President’s:
a) Israeli policies
b) childhood in Hope, Ark.
c) romper room
d) “monument to democracy”

My social life as an intern would likely consist of:
a) hitting Georgetown bars with the other interns
b) reading, study
c) late nights working at the White House
d) late nights working the White House

Score 1 point for each a, 2 for each b, 3 for each c, 4 for each d. Scores of
16 can start tomorrow. Scores of 12 and above, please call soon.

Uncle Sam wants you.

*Please feel free to forward this form to anyone you know who might be
interested in this program. The White House is an equal opportunity employer.

Brian Mulroney is my shepherd I shell soon want He leadth me beside still factorys and abandond farms He restorth my doubt about the Tories He annointed my wages with taxes and inflation so my expenses runneth over my income surely poverty, hard living shell follow the Tories And I shell work on a rented farm And live in a rented house forever, Five thousand years ago, MOSES said,; pick up your shovels, mount your asses,and , I will lead you to the promies land!. one hundred years Trudeau said ,lay down your shovels , get off your asses ,an light up a camel THIS IS THE PROMIES LAND,!!!!!!!!! This year Brian Mulroney will take your shovels, sell your camel, kick your ass,and tell you he gave away the promies land,. Iam glad to be a CANADIAN Iam glad to be freebut if I had a wish this is what it would be that I was a dog and Mulroney was a tree THANK YOU [email protected]

So, I recently took a tour of the White House, and on the tour our
guide pointed out the new name to the “Oval Office”, seems someone
liked the name the “Oral Office” better!

A philandering pres named Bill,
Was married to a lawyer named “Hill.”
He played on the side,
And repeatedly lied,
‘Cuz his female intern said, “I will!”

Q: What will Bill’s favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect?A: Everything’s $100.

Oxymoron of 1994: Whitewater Development.

Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead?A: His heart stops bleeding.

Did you hear that in response to President Bill Clinton’s habit of dropping in on the local McDonalds, the McDonald’s national management has announced a commemorative double cheeseburger, the McClinton?Of course, when you get it, the price has doubled, you never get the fries you were originally promised, and it’s got half the meat.

What is the newest game at the white house?

Swallowing the leader!

From Bill Maher on “Politically Incorrect” 97/05/27 regarding Paula Jones’ winning the right to sue President Clinton while he is in office:

“As you know, Paula Jones was offered a position on the governor’s staff…”

Bill Clinton and Hillary were travelling in a car.

They stopped at a filling station. They saw Hillary’s young lover there. Bill said to hillary if you were still with him, you were the wife of a filling station owner.

Hillary said ” NO! Then he would be the president of United States”