Category: politics

Bill Clinton’s haircut

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Before his infamous haircut on the tarmac, Clinton asked his stylist Christophe, “How long will this take, how much will it cost, and how good will this look?”Christophe replied just ten minutes, cost $20, and look marvelous. An hour and fifteen minutes later, Clinton looked into the mirror in horror and Christophe handed him a bill for $200.Clinton gasped, “You took too long, it doesn’t look that great, and it is costing me ten times more than you said!”Christophe replied, “That makes us even.”

Clinton’s Dinner Party

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Hillary and Bill were invited to a dinner party. Bill steps onto the plane
and sees Hillary there naked. He says, “You aren’t going like that are
you?” She replies, “Why not?” “this is a dinner party dear, and it makes
you look like a whore.” “Oh alright..I’ll go and change.” So, Hillary goes
off to change. She comes back… and Bill is in the buff, except for a
potato on his cock. “You sent me to change then you are going to go like
that?” “Why..of course! If you were going to go as a whore..why can’t I go
as a Dictator?”

The Top 13 Revelations in Barbara Walters’ Interview with Monica Lewinsky

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13. She just did it all to meet Roger Clinton.

12. “Bill CLINTON?!? All this time, I thought they were saying Bill *CLIFTON*, this guy I met at Starbucks! Hey, everybody, never mind, okay? My bad.”

11. Deal with Ken Starr included private “oral deposition” and “lapdance for immunity.”

10. Monica admits the President’s DNA was on that blue dress, but she swears the stain was already there when she borrowed the dress from Mr. Stephanopoulos.

9. The President was really sorry there wasn’t more room under his desk for snuggling.

8. While in the throes of passion, Bill promised Monica Delaware and Rhode Island.

7. The most powerful man on the planet is deathly afraid of teeth.

6. She never actually wore a thong; her size 14 ass just made it look that way.

5. It’s damn near impossible to say “fellatio” without an “L” sound.

4. There’s a 200-year-old collection of Presidential chewing gum under the Oval Office desk.

3. Pet name for the Presidential appendage: “Little Rock”

2. Things really got confusing when the president suggested she “Take a trip to Mount Vernon.”

1. She’s a vapid, brainless dullard desperate for any pitiful shred of media exposure. And we learn some things about Monica as well.

[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ]

[ The Top 5 List [email protected] http://www.topfive.com ]

The Top 15 New Slogans for the Democratic Party

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15. Okay, he’s a hound — But he’s OUR hound!

14. Vote for Our Guy or These Dole Viagra Pictures Hit the Internet

13. If the Dome is A-Rockin’, Don’t Come A-Knockin’!

12. When the Going Gets Tough, We Bomb Iraq.

11. So Spank Us! 10. It’s Not Our Fault All the Good Ones Get Shot

9. Our Pants May Fall, But Your 401(K) Value Won’t!

8. Felonies Dismissed While You Wait

7. Slide your fine ass over here and give us a vote, Darlin’!!

6. Mmmmmmm… Peachy!

5. Oh, So You Wanna Play Rough, Huh?

4. C’mon — We Didn’t Know He Was *THAT* Horny!

3. We’ve Got Cigarfignugen!

2. Impeach THIS!!!

1. Laid in America

[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]

[ The Top 5 List [email protected] http://www.topfive.com]