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Recently, our town received a grant to build housing for midgets.
According to our demographics, they figured that we should have six midgets
living here. They sent enough money so that we could finance the building of
homes and let the “little people” pay less than the going rate for rent.
Since we have only one “little person” living here it turns out that he won’t
have to pay anything for the only house we built, the subsidy covers everything.
We call it a Stay Free Mini Pad.
Hillary and Bill were invited to a dinner party. Bill steps onto the plane
and sees Hillary there naked. He says, “You aren’t going like that are
you?” She replies, “Why not?” “this is a dinner party dear, and it makes
you look like a whore.” “Oh alright..I’ll go and change.” So, Hillary goes
off to change. She comes back… and Bill is in the buff, except for a
potato on his cock. “You sent me to change then you are going to go like
that?” “Why..of course! If you were going to go as a whore..why can’t I go
as a Dictator?”
13. She just did it all to meet Roger Clinton.
12. “Bill CLINTON?!? All this time, I thought they were saying Bill *CLIFTON*, this guy I met at Starbucks! Hey, everybody, never mind, okay? My bad.”
11. Deal with Ken Starr included private “oral deposition” and “lapdance for immunity.”
10. Monica admits the President’s DNA was on that blue dress, but she swears the stain was already there when she borrowed the dress from Mr. Stephanopoulos.
9. The President was really sorry there wasn’t more room under his desk for snuggling.
8. While in the throes of passion, Bill promised Monica Delaware and Rhode Island.
7. The most powerful man on the planet is deathly afraid of teeth.
6. She never actually wore a thong; her size 14 ass just made it look that way.
5. It’s damn near impossible to say “fellatio” without an “L” sound.
4. There’s a 200-year-old collection of Presidential chewing gum under the Oval Office desk.
3. Pet name for the Presidential appendage: “Little Rock”
2. Things really got confusing when the president suggested she “Take a trip to Mount Vernon.”
1. She’s a vapid, brainless dullard desperate for any pitiful shred of media exposure. And we learn some things about Monica as well.
[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ] [ The Top 5 List [email protected] http://www.topfive.com ]Q. What do Sadamm Husein and Miss Muffett have in common?
A. They both have Kurds in their way!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To get away from Bill Clinton.
Co-Dependent — finger-pointer.
Creatively Re-Dyed — blonde.
Differently-Organized — messy.
Differently-Brained — stupid.
Energy-Efficient — off.
Environmentally-Correct Human — dead.
Facially-Challenged — ugly.
Factually-Unencumbered — ignorant.
Financially Inept — poor.
Folically Independent — bald.
What do Monica and Bill have in common. ?
They both have had joints in their mouth.
15. Okay, he’s a hound — But he’s OUR hound!
14. Vote for Our Guy or These Dole Viagra Pictures Hit the Internet
13. If the Dome is A-Rockin’, Don’t Come A-Knockin’!
12. When the Going Gets Tough, We Bomb Iraq.
11. So Spank Us! 10. It’s Not Our Fault All the Good Ones Get Shot
9. Our Pants May Fall, But Your 401(K) Value Won’t!
8. Felonies Dismissed While You Wait
7. Slide your fine ass over here and give us a vote, Darlin’!!
6. Mmmmmmm… Peachy!
5. Oh, So You Wanna Play Rough, Huh?
4. C’mon — We Didn’t Know He Was *THAT* Horny!
3. We’ve Got Cigarfignugen!
2. Impeach THIS!!!
1. Laid in America
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ] [ The Top 5 List [email protected] http://www.topfive.com]What have sperm and refugees got in common?
They both come in their millions and only one fucker works!!
The following phrase:
PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA can be rearranged (with no letters
left over, and using each letter only once) into:
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
Coincidence? I think not!
What does Bill Clinton, Ken Starr, and Monica Lewinsky have in
common?
They blow.
Clinton blows the sax, Starr blows the whistle, and
Monica blows the skin flute.
– Pythagorean theorem:
24 words
– The Lord’s Prayer:
66 words.
– Archimedes’ Principle:
67 words.
– The 10 Commandments:
179 words.
– Lincoln’s Gettysburg address:
286 words.
– The U.S. Declaration of Independence:
1,300 words.
– The U.S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage:
26,911 words.