Political anagrams

He grew bogus
Bush ego grew
Where bugs go
Whose bugger?
“W”: he bugs Gore
e.g. bug whores?
Ugh! Sewer bog!
Bugger, who’s ‘e?
Ogre hugs web

Other related anagrams

President George “Dubya” Bush:

Ego upset by greed and hubris

USA President George Bush:

Ass…one stupid bugger here!
Huge, depressing saboteur

The Republican Party:

Try neat, happier club
Buy that pearl, Prince!
Entire rat club happy!
Aren’t public therapy

Republicans / Democrats:

Superb morals? Accident!
Cured satanic problems
Products enable racism

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BILL CLINTON’S FRIEND?…

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BILL CLINTON’S FRIEND??

The following is a list of dead people connected to Bill Clinton. Please
note the following breakdown of causes, and then think about the statistical possibility of their being random occurrences (especially the plane crashes):

1. James McDougal – Clinton’s convicted Whitewater partner died of an
apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key
witness in Ken Starr’s investigation.

2. Mary Mahoney – A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a
Starbucks Coffee Shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just after she
was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House.

3. Vince Foster – Former White House counselor, and colleague of Hillary
Clinton at Little Rock’s Rose law firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the
head, ruled a suicide.

4. Ron Brown – Secretary of Commerce and former Democratic National
Committee Chairman. Reported to have died by impact in a plane crash. A
pathologist close to the investigation reported that there was A HOLE IN
THE TOP OF BROWN’S SKULL RESEMBLING A GUNSHOT WOUND. At the time of his
death Brown was being investigated, and spoke publicly of his willingness
to cut a deal with prosecutors.

5.and 6. C. Victor Raiser II and Montgomery Raiser – Major players in the
Clinton fundraising organization died in a private plane crash in July
1992.

7. Paul Tulley – Democratic National Committee Political Director found
dead in a hotel room in Little Rock, September 1992. Described by Clinton
as a “Dear friend and trusted advisor.”

8. Ed Willey – Clinton fundraiser, found dead November 1993 deep in the
woods in Virginia of a gunshot wound to the head. Ruled a suicide. Ed
Willey died on the same day his wife Kathleen Willey claimed Bill Clinton
groped her in the oval office in the White House. Ed Willey was involved
in several Clinton fund raising events.

9. Jerry Parks – Head of Clinton’s gubernatorial security team in Little
Rock. Gunned down in his car at a deserted intersection outside Little
Rock. Park’s son said his father was building a dossier on Clinton. He
allegedly threatened to reveal this information. After he died the files
were mysteriously removed from his house.

10. James Bunch – It was reported that he had a “Black Book” of people
containing names of influential people who visited prostitutes in Texas
and Arkansas. Died from a gunshot suicide.

11. James Wilson – He was reported to have ties to Whitewater. Was found
dead in May 1993 from an apparent hanging suicide.

12. Kathy Ferguson – Ex-wife of Arkansas Trooper Danny Ferguson and a
possible corroborating witness for Paula Jones. She died in May 1994 was
found dead in her living room with a gunshot to her head. It was ruled a
suicide even though there were several packed suitcases, as if she was
going somewhere. Danny Ferguson was a codefendant along with Bill Clinton
in the Paula Jones lawsuit.

13. Bill Shelton – Arkansas State Trooper and fiance of Kathy Ferguson.
Critical of the suicide ruling of his fiance, he was found dead in June
1994 of a gunshot wound also ruled a suicide at the gravesite of his
fiance.

14. Gandy Baugh – Attorney for Clinton friend Dan Lassater died by jumping
out a window of a tall building January 1994. His client was a convicted
drug distributor.

15. Florence Martin – Accountant subcontractor for the CIA related to the
Barry Seal Mena Airport drug smuggling case. Died of three gunshot wounds.

16. Suzanne Coleman – Reportedly had an affair with Clinton when he was
Arkansas Attorney General. Died of a gunshot wound to the BACK of the
head, ruled a suicide. WAS PREGNANT AT THE TIME OF HER DEATH.

17. Paula Grober – Clinton’s speech interpreter for the deaf from 1978
until her death December 9, 1992. She died in a one-car accident.

18. Danny Casolaro – Reporter investigating Mena Airport and Arkansas
Development Finance Authority. He slit his wrists, apparent suicide in the
middle of his investigation.

19. Paul Wilcher – Attorney investigating corruption at Mena Airport with
Casolaro and the 1980 “October Surprise” was found dead on a toilet June
22, 1993 in his Washington DC apartment. Had delivered a report to Janet
Reno 3 weeks before his death.

20. Jon Parnell Walker – Whitewater investigator for Resolution Trust
Corp. He was investigating Morgan Guarantee scandal. Jumped to his death
from his Arlington, Virginia apartment balcony August 15, 1993

21. Barbara Wise – Commerce Department staffer. Worked closely with Ron
Brown and John Huang. Cause of death unknown. Died November 29, 1996. Her
bruised nude body was found locked in her office at the Department of
Commerce.

22. Charles Meissner – Assistant Secretary of Commerce, who gave John
Huang special security clearance, died shortly thereafter in a small plane
crash.

23. Dr. Stanley Heard – Chairman of the National Chiropractic Health Care
Advisory Committee and member of Clinton’s advisory council, who personally
treated Clinton’s mother, stepfather and brother. He died with his
attorney Steve Dickson in a small plane crash.

24. Barry Seal – Drug running pilot out of Mena Arkansas. Death was no
accident.

25. Johnny Lawhorn Jr. – Mechanic, found a check made out to Clinton in
the trunk of a car left in his repair shop. Died when his car hit a
utility pole.

26. Stanley Huggins – Investigated Madison Guarantee. His report was never
released. Suicide.

27. Hershell Friday – Attorney and Clinton fundraiser died March 1, 1994
when his plane exploded.

29. Kevin Ives and

28. Don Henry – Known as “the boys on the track” case. Reports say the
boys may have stumbled upon the Mena Arkansas airport drug operation.
Controversial case where initial report of death was due to falling asleep
on railroad track. Later reports claim the 2 boys had been slain before
being placed on the tracks. Many linked to the case died before their
testimony could come before a Grand Jury:

30. Keith Coney – Died when his motorcycle slammed into the back of a
truck July, 1988

31. Keith McMaskle – Died stabbed 113 times, Nov, 1988

32. Gregory Collins – Died from a gunshot wound January 1989.

33. Jeff Rhodes – He was shot, mutilated and found burned in a trash dump
in April 1989.

34. James Milan – Found decapitated. CORONER RULED DEATH DUE TO NATURAL
CAUSES.

35. Jordan Kettleson – Was found shot to death in the front seat of his
pickup truck in June 1990.

36. Richard Winters – Was a suspect in the Ives / Henry deaths. Was killed
in a setup robbery July 1989.

And not to forget the Clinton bodyguards, who died in the line of service:

37. Major William S. Barkley Jr.

38. Captain Scott J. Reynolds

39. Sgt. Brian Hanley

40. Sgt. Tim Sabel

41. Major General William Robertson

42. Col. William Densberger

43. Col. Robert Kelly

44. Spec. Gary Rhodes

45. Steve Willis

46. Robert Williams

47. Conway LeBleu

48. Todd McKeehan

Clinton and the hooker

One morning Clinton is out jogging with his Secret Service and
they happen to pass a hooker on a corner. Clinton calls to her,
“How much?” She answers, “$100!” “Forget it!” he replies, “I can
get it for $10!” The next day they happen by the same hooker. He
again asks her, “How much?” “$100” she shouts back. “Forget it”
he replies, “I can get it for $10!” Well…the next day Hillary
decides to go jogging with Bill. They, of course, pass the same
hooker. The hooker shouts to Clinton, “See what you get for
$10?!!”

Euroenglish

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard “c” will be replaced with “k.” Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e”s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” by “z” and “W” by “V”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou”, and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Nixon vs. Clinton

Nixon: Watergate
Clinton: Waterbed
Nixon: Biggest fear: Cold war
Clinton: Biggest fear: Cold sore

Nixon: Carpet bombing
Clinton: Carpet burns

Nixon: Vice President: Greek
Clinton: Vice President: Geek

Nixon: Couldn’t stop Kissinger
Clinton: Couldn’t stop kissing her.

Nixon: Known as tricky Dick
Clinton: no difference

Nixon: Ex-president
Clinton: Sex President

…and my #1 favorite:

Nixon: Talked of achieving Peace with honor.
Clinton: Talked of achieving piece while on her.

4 Docs and GW Bush!

4 Doctors were talking shop one day…

An Israeli doctor said, “Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks.”

A German doctor said “That’s nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks.”

A Russian doctor said, “In my country, medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another and have them both looking for work in two weeks.”

The American doctor, not to be outdone, said “Hah!
We are about to take an asshole out of Texas, put him in the White House and half the country will be looking for work the next day!”

Letter from College

Dear Mom and Dad:
It has been four months since I left for college. I have been remiss in
writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness. I will bring you up to date
now, but before you read on, please sit down. Don’t read any further unless you
are sitting down …

OK?

Good. I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the
concussion I got from jumping out of the window of my dormitory when it caught
fire, shortly after my arrival, are pretty well healed now. I only spent two
weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get three
headaches a day.

Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an
attendant at a nearby gas station, and he was able to call the Fire Department
and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and since I had nowhere to
live because of the burnt-out dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his
apartment with him. It’s really a basement room, but it is kind of cute. He is a
very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married.
We haven’t set the exact date yet, but I’m sure it will be before I start to
show.

Yes, Mom and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to
being grandparents, and I know you will give the baby the same love and devotion
and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our
marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from
passing our premarital blood tests, and I carelessly caught it from him. This
will soon clear up, thanks tomy daily penicillin injections. I know you will
welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind, and although not well
educated, he is ambitious Also, he is of a different race and religion than
ours, but I know, after all your years of teaching me tolerance, that you won’t
mind the fact that heis somewhat darker than we are. I am sure you will love him
as I do.

His family background is good, too; I am told that his father is an important
gunbearer in his native African village.

I guess that’s it. Now that I have brought you up to date, I want you to know
… There was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or skull fracture,
I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I do not have
syphilis and there is no man of another race in my life.

However, I am getting a “D” in History and an “F” in Science, and I wanted you
to see these marks in their proper perspective.

Your loving daughter,

Chelsea

P.S. Stanford is great…I love it, though I miss you both terribly…and
Socks, too!

P.P.S Dad, please give my best to Monica & the others.