Category: politics

Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock.

A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates’ campaign promises.

A Republican, a Libertarian, and a Democrat are seated separately in a restaurant when a poor man walks in; unbeknownst to any of them, it is Jesus.

The Republican summons the waiter and asks him to serve the poor man the best food in the house and put it on his tab; the waiter does so.

The Libertarian asks the waiter to please serve the poor man iced tea and to put it on his tab. The waiter does so.

The Democrat then asks the waiter to bring the poor man pecan pie with ice cream and to put it on his tab.

When Jesus is finished eating, He goes over to the Republican and says, “I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat. Thank you. I see you are blind.” and He touches the man’s eye, and it is healed.

Jesus then goes over to the Libertarian and says, “I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink. Thank you. I see you have a bad arm.” and He touches the man’s arm, and it is healed.

Then Jesus walks over to the Democrat. The Democrat moves far back from Jesus and exclaims, “Don’t touch me!! I’m on 100% disability!!”

Gorbachev sent some sausage overseas for analysis. Soon he received an
answer:
-Mister Gorbachev, no helminth were detected in your excrement.

There are 3 guys and they all work in a store. One day a robber comes into the store with a gun ready to shoot. The guys are like please please don’t shoot me! So the robber says ”only on 1 condition you have to bring a fruit tomorrow and stick it up your butt.So the next day the first guy comes with an apple and sticks it up his butt but he was shot any way. The second guy came with an orange and sticks it up his butt but he was shot anyway. So the 2 guys are up in heaven and the first guy starts laughing. ”Whats so funny, were dead!” says the second guy. ”Its not that!” says the first guy. ”Then what is it?”
” I just seen the third guy with a watermellon!” says the first guy.

Q: What does Hillary have in common with the city of Buffalo?A: They both have Bills that are losers.

President Clinton was about to go on national tv for a speech. One of his aids
rushed up to him and ask, “Do you know you have a pair of panties tied around
your upper arm?”

The President replied, “Yes, that is my patch. I’m trying to quit!”