Category: politics

Needless to say that our hearts and prayers are with the families of Shuttle Columbias heroes. However I would not be surprised if the NASA investigators will try to blame the LEFT-WING for this tragic disaster.

15> Mad Dog and Night Train

14> Toasted Almond and Fuzzy Navel

13> Thelma and Louise

12> The TroubleMint Twins

11> Bookworm and Agave Worm

10> Less Filling and Tastes Great

9> J and B

8> Drunk and Disorderly

7> Hey, This Is a Hell of a Lot More Fun Than Chelsea’s Soccer Games!

6> Olive and Onion

5> Alky and the Bandit

4> Jen and Tonic

3> Survivor and The Weakest Link

2> Barb and Wired

1> Tweedledee and Tweedledrunk

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]

Secret Service are agents expected to testify that Monica Lewinsky was in the
oval office with the President unescorted for 40 minutes, But everything
was O.K, she was just giving the President a debriefing.

Why is everyone so mad about the President and Monica?

After all he gave her a job and she gave him one back.

Q: What happened when Bill Clinton got a shot of testosterone?A: He turned into Hillary!

“Bill and Hillary have provided the special prosecutor with every shred of evidence they have.” — Al Gore

While campaigning in South Carolina, George W. Bush made a surprise appearance
at a meeting of high school football coaches. It was a real surprise because
Dubya wasn’t much of a football player in high school. While the rest of the
team was practicing for the big game, he was on the bench trying to snort the
out-of-bounds lines.

What is the difference between a Professional Athlete and a Politician?

– A Professional Athlete robs you and claims it is entertainment. A
politician just plain robs you.

Did you know that Monica Lewinsky is moving to North Carolina?
She doesn’t know exactly where she’ll live, but it’s a toss-up between Blowing
Rock and Morehead City.

Q: What’s Bill’s fondest wish now?A: That someone would wave a hand at him using more than one finger.

Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

That hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy.

Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job!

That uniform makes your ass look really big.

Excuse me. Is “stick up” hyphenated?

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

You don’t happen to have any beer in your car?

I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

“Bad Cop! No Donut!”

Your not gonna check the trunk, are you?

“Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.”

“Lets do it different this time… I will give you the breathalizer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow”

Did you happen to attend the “Barney Fife” Police Academy?

Didn’t I see you get your ass kicked on Cops?

I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriends nitestand

When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the camcorder

I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket

Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

I pay your salary!

So, uh, you on the take, or what?

Those sirens are hurting my ears, turn them off or I am not speaking to you.

So what if I was speeding, whatcha gonna do about it Mr. Hotshot?

Gee,officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

“Aren’t you the guy from the village people”

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes I know there is no other car around, that’s how far they are ahead of me.

So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn’t let you play with your gun when you were little?

Sorry I can’t hear you over the radio. No I am not turning it down, I love this song. Either speak up or just leave me alone.

What do you mean have I been drinking? Your the trained specialist.

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

Hey, man, you want a hit?

Hey is that a 9 mm? That’s nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

I don’t trust President Clinton or her husband.