Category: politics

A man was walking along when he spotted a small boy busily constructing something. He approached the boy and was shocked to see him playing with cow manure! For lack of anything better to say, he asked, “Little boy, what are you doing?”The boy replied, “I am making George Bush with this manure, Mister.”Now thoroughly taken aback, the man asked, “Why are you making George Bush? Why not make, er, Bill Clinton?”The boy answered, “Oh no Mister, I can’t make Bill Clinton.””But why not?” asked the man. The boy replied “Well, Mister, there isn’t enough here to make Bill Clinton.”

Monica Lweinski came into Bill Clintons office. Bill got up and closed the
door. He walked over to Monica, dropped his pants, pointed to his pecker and
said, “How do you like my clock?”

Monica said, “What are you talking about, thats not a clock?”

Bill answered, “Well then, put two hands and a face on it!”

ur momma is so fat she went to KFC and asked for the chicken outside the store

President Bevis, Vice President ButtheadI thought that happened in November of 1992.

Clinton: (C)omplete (L)oser (I)n (N)ow (T)errorizing (O)ur (N)ation

Q: Who would become President of the U.S.A if the President died?A: Bill Clinton of course!

Q: What did Teddy Kennedy say when he heard of JFK’s assassination?A: He couldn’t have been shot in the temple! We’re not Jewish!

Candidate Bill Clinton: Promised to increase minimum wagePresident Bill Clinton: Wants to keep the wage the sameCandidate Bill Clinton: Attacked Bush’s policy of sending illegal Haitians back to HaitiPresident Bill Clinton: Decided to maintain Bush’s policy on Haiti.Candidate Clinton, campaign ad, January 1992″I’ve offered a comprehensive plan to get our economy moving again….It starts with a tax cut on the middle class.”Candidate Clinton, Jan. 12, 1992″I want to make it very clear that this middle-class tax cut, in my view, is central to any attempt we’re going to make to have a short-term economic strategy.”President-elect Clinton, Jan 14, 1993″From New Hampshire forward, for reasons that absolutely mystify me, the press thought the most important issue in the race was the middle class tax cut. I never did meet any voter who thought that.”President Clinton, first Oval Office address, Feb. 15, 1993″I had hoped to invest in your [the middle class’s] future…without asking more of you. And I’ve worked harder than I’ve ever worked in my life to meet that goal. But I can’t.”Candidate Clinton, last presidential debate, Lansing Mich., Oct. 19, 1992″The real mistake he [President Bush] made was the ‘read my lips’ promise in the first place. You just can’t promise something like that just to get elected if you know there’s a good chance that circumstances may overtake you.”President-elect Clinton, press conference, Jan. 14, 1993″We have a structural deficit that is too high. The American people would think I was foolish if I said I will not respond to changing circumstances.”

�Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash.
�Doesn’t know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
�Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
�Forgot to pay his brain bill.
�Her sewing machine’s out of thread.
�His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.
�His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.
�If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
�Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
�No grain in the silo.
�Proof that evolution can go in reverse.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It’s irrelevant; they still don’t accept the fact that they’re in the dark!

(To the tune of Adam Sandler’s “The Hanukah Song)
Written and submitted by Greg

Get ready for funica,
Here comes Monica
She’s so easyica
Her name is Monica.

Monica is the slut of all sluts,
If you give her a quarter you can grab her butt.

So when you feel like the only one in town,
With a lot of time to burn
Here’s a song to recognize,
All you White House Interns!

Come into the office,
This job is a borea
Let me unzip my fly
Then you can suck me till I’m sorea.

Don’t worry Miss Monica, no one will know.
‘Cause Hillary and Chelsea are in the Poconos.

Bill and Paula Jones and Miss Lewinsky,
Put them together what a fine little orgy!

You don’t need Linda Tripp or Kenneth Starr,
‘Cause we can have sex with one of my cigars!
It’s a Cuban!

Get ready for funica,
Here comes Monica,
I need a blowjobica,
So get to it Monica!

Miss Lewinsky, what a slut.
But man oh man, what a butt!
It’s a beauty!

I don’t care if you’re a little chubby,
Compared to Hillary,
Not to shabby!

Some people think that I’m an old geezer.
Well, I am
but look at how I please her.

So many women are in my life,
About a hundred or so none are my wife!

Tell your friend Veronica,
It’s time for Monica,
I hope I don’t cumica,
On your big blue dressica!
So drink your gin and tonica,
And smoke your marijuanica,(but don’t inhale)
If you really really wannica
Keep on sucking, sucking, sucking, sucking Monica!
Suck it Monica!

When did Clinton realize Paula Jones wasn’t a Democrat?

When she didn’t swallow everything he presented.