Category: politicians

Q: What does golf and Monica Lewinsky have in common?
A: They both appeal to old men, and they can both get a hole in
one.

Q: What do Bill Clinton and the toilet have in common?
A: They can both see things they shouldn’t be looking at.

Q: What do the Oval Office and the Yankee Stadium have in common?
A: They both get a lot of action.

Q: What do the Titanic and Bill Clinton have in common?
A: They both went down.

Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with a cow?
A: You can get liquid from either one.

Q: What does Monica Lewinski and a whore have in common?
A: not much-the whore gets the whole deal instead of the thing
that sucks.

Bill Clinton, Abraham Lincoln, and George Bush died and went to
heaven.

They were walking and knocked on the door of heaven. God
answered and said that they could have one more chance. He told
them to go over to the cloud on his far right and say what they
wanted to do to make the world a better place. Then jump off and
do that deed. That would show the last part of the test of life
and then that would show that they were ready for heaven.

Abraham went first. “I am going to start world peace!” and he
jumped off and started world peace.

Then George Bush went and said, “I am going to clean up all the
trash put on earth.” And he jumped off and started the worldwide
committee for trash clean-ups.

Clinton was very excited he ran and accidentally tripped over a
cloud twig and replied, “SHIT!” and he fell off and became shit
and he helped out the world more than ever.

Bill and Hillary were driving through Little Rock, and when they
passd by a gas station a big man yelled, “Hi Hillary.” And
Hillary said, “Hi Bubba.” Bill asked, “Who was that?” And
Hillary told him it was a old high school boyfriend. Bill said,
“See if you married him you would be married to a gas station
attendant, but you married me now you’re the first lady.” And
Hillary told him, “If I married him he would be the president,
and you would be the gas station attendant.”

A preacher was dying, and he sent for Bill and Hillary Clinton.
They were very flattered and agreed to come. When they got
there, he asked them to stand on either side of the bed and hold
his hands. The pastor lay on the bed with a look of pure joy on
his face.

They were even more flattered, but finally, their curiosity got
the better of them. They asked why he wanted them there while he
was dying. He smiled and said: “I just wanted to die like Jesus.
He died between two thieves.”

Clinton’s nickname in the U.S. is “Slick Willy”. As it turns
out, they have names for him all over the world. For example:

Japan – “Throbzilla”
Poland – “Go-inski Lewinski”
Denmark – “Gropen-hagen”
Afghanistan – “Afghani-Stain”
China – “Mao Tse Tongue”
France – “Bone Appetit”
Italy – “The Rodfather”
Nepal – “Him-A-Lay-Her”
Zaire – “Ubangi Anything That Moves”

One day Osama bin Laden and George Bush were at the dump,
dumping their trash when they saw each other. Then, George Bush
found a funny looking bottle and decided to open it. When he
opens it, a little genie pops out and says, “You each get one
wish, Osama bin Laden goes first. What is your your wish Osama?”
“Well,” Osama said, “I want a great wall around my country,
Afganistan, and I want it to be 500 feet tall and 500 feet wide,
and absolutely nothing can go through it, so that all of my
Muslims there cannot escape. That is all. Can you do that?”
“Your wish is granted Osama,” said the genie, “Now for your wish
George. What will it be?”
“Fill it with water.”