Category: poems

It’s raining, it’s pouring
The old man is whoring,
He jumped in bed,
and got some head,
and didn’t pay up until the morning

There was a young man from Belgrave
Who found a dead whore in a cave
It does take some pluck to have a cold fuck
But think of the money you save!!!

Warm eyes, wet lips
Gently touch my finger tips

Soft sighs, silky hair
Longing for me to touch her there

Her begging eyes
Her whimpering cries

Urgent needs of one so sweet
Bring me quickly to my feet

The night is warm, there is no doubt
It’s my turn to take the dog out

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Toilet papers are white.
But not when I’m through!

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
For just an itty-bitty,
Jill’s now 2 months overdue,
And Jack has left the city.

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
Each with a quarter,
Jill came down with 50 cents.
Do you think they went for water?

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water,
Jill forgot to take the pill,
So now they’ve got a daughter!

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
With a keg of brandy,
Jack got stewed, Jill got screwed,
Now it’s Jack, Jill, and Andy.

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
And planned to do some kissing,
Jack made a pass, grabbed her ass,
And now his front 2 teeth are missing

There once was a Senator from Mass
Who went in search of some ass
He lucked up and found it
Fucked up and ground it
And that was the end of his ass

I’m 90% angel
And 10% devil
And a little cutie as you can see
So being sweet comes naturally
If you hate me I love you too
I cant help it
I’m cuter than you!

One fine day in the middle of the night,
two dead boys got up to fight;
back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
The deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came and shot those two dead boys.
If you don’t believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man, he saw it too!

Ole MacDonald sitting on a bench,
slapping his meat with a monkey wrench,
missed his meat and hit his balls,
pissed all over in his overalles,
went to the creek to wash them off,
saw a beaver jacking off
kicked the beaver in its ass
never seen a beaver jack so fast.

BEAUTIFUUL

Beautiful
Beautiful, thats what he is to me
Beautiful, something only really him and I can see
Beautiful, somethig he cannot hide from me
He’s incredable and capable of makinh his life deside to be
he’s so wonderful
hess so wonderful he is the best person you could have in this
world besides God
Hes so wonderful shes like an angle, always by your side
I cant see one problem that he had when im around
Hes like an angle protacting and correcting me, and never
putting me down
Sometimes I say to myself maybe he is an angle
Because thats Beautiful

By:Andrina Phillip

Here I sit all broken hearted, paid a dime to shit and only farted.

There was a man from cape, he went to fuck an ape,
Ape told fuck off you bastard, your balls are out of shape.

There was a girl from Kent, a football match she went,
She stood the goal and opened her hole, in the football went.

There was a man from Macca,who went to fuck his Akka,
he missed his mark in the dark, his balls were full of Kakka.

AIDS: Ass Infected Don’t Screw, Another Idiot Died Screwing.