Category: poems

How dry I am, How wet I’ll be
If I don’t find the bathroom key.
I found the key, I find the door
but it’s to late, I peed on the floor!

A heart is not a playingthing
A heart is not a toy
If you want it broken
Give it to a boy
They’ll tear it to pieces
They’ll step on it like glass
And when they come running back
say HONEY KISS MY ARSE

~{:sing to the tune of row row row your boat:}~

-Fuck fuck fuck a duck
-Screw a kangaroo
-Bang bang an arangatang
-Orgy in the zoo 🙂

There once was a man from Azire
who was froggin his girl on the stair
the banister broke
so he doubled his stroke
and finished her off in midair

Dear Heavenly father full of grace
Bless my boy friend for his cute face
Bless his hair that always curls
Help keep his hands off other girls
Bless his hands so big and strong
Help keep them where they belong
Bless the thickness of his sperm
Bless his dick so big and firm
Bless his hand I love to clinch
Bless his tongue I love to french
Bless my breast he love to suck
Bless my pussy he loves to fuck
Bless the man I love to marry
Bless his child I love to carry
And if my mom shall walk in
Bless our lives soon to end
And if you hear this bless of mine
May it blow your fucking mind.
Amen

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Garbage is dumped,
And so are you!

Love is a sensation caused by temptation.
When a man sticks his inspiration
into a girl’s combination,
to increase the population
of a younger generaration.
Do you get my conversation,
or do you need a demonstration.

Eat me, Beat me, Bite me, Blow me,
Fuck me, Suck me, very slowly.
If you hate it, don’t make it hasty,
add the tongue and make it tasty.
I like your style, I like your class,
but most of all, I like your ass.

Here I sit gently stroking thinking of all the pussy I could be poking.

Roses are red
Violets are black
I hope your front
Isn’t as flat as your back!

Roses are red
Violets are gold
Why wear a bra
When there’s nothing to hold!

I start with a M
so does a male
there can be roads on me
you can get me in the mail
or there can be states on me
trust me I’m not a baseball cap
what am I, I’m a map!

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Everyone felt shitty
Even the mouse

With mom at the whore house
And dad smoking grass
I had just settled down
For a nice piece of ass

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter
Then up in the air I saw a big dick
I knew in a flash it must be St. Nick

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell
I knew right away that the fat fucker fell
He filled the stockings with doobies and beer
And a big rubber dick for my brother the queer

He went up the chimney and blew a big fart
The son of a bitch blew the chimney apart
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight
“Piss on you all and have a hell of a night!”

There was a young lady from Bude
who rode on a bus in the nude,
when a man up the front, went
“Sniff, sniff, I smell cunt”,
just like that,
right out loud,
bloody rude!