Category: poems

This is a poem from an elementary school bulletin board…

I have a little pussy,
Her coat is silver gray.
She lives down by the meadow
She’ll always be a pussy,
She’ll never be a cat.
Because she’s a pussy willow
Now what do you think of that!

A Touching poem…..

Sometimes you will cry
and no one will see your tears…

Sometimes you will laugh
and no one will see you smile…

Sometimes you will fear
and no one will see you shudder…

Sometimes you will lie
and no one will catch you up…

Sometimes you will fall
and no one will see you struggle…

Sometimes you will be late
and no one seems to notice…

But fart just one time…

*This poem taken from an episode of Cartoon Planet*

Love is a happy time
It when the male part of species
Goes over to the female part of species
And Says “Hey you want to go on a date”
Then she says “Sure, if you’re lucky”
Then they go to this resteraunt
And he orders this big slab of meat
And she orders this thing called a salad
And that Ladies is what I call love
Wasn’t that sweat

~Brak

A shiftless young fellow of Kent

Had his wife fuck the landlord for rent.

But as she grew older

The landlord grew colder,

And now they live out in a tent.

If kisses are blown, kisses are wasted. Kisses aren’t kisses unless
they’re tasted. Kisses spread germs, and germs are hated, so kiss me
baby…I’m vaccinated!!!

virginity is like a balloon,
one small prick and its gone!

sex is like a box of pringles,
one you pop you just cant stop!

life is like a dick,
when it gets hard, fuck it!

There was a man from flint
Who had such a big dick it was bent
To save alot of trouble
He stuck it in double
Instead of coming he went

I’ll watch you smile and watch you grin,
as the cum rolls down my chin.
I’ll love you tender if you are sweet!
Pop it out so I can eat your meat!!!!

A peach is a peach,
a plum is a plum,
a kiss isn’t a kiss without some tongue.

So open your mouth,
and close your eyes,
and give your tongue some exercise!

Sex, and drugs, and rock ‘n roll,
Speed, and weed, and birth control,
All you preps think you’re cool,
Fuck you all, Stoners Rule!

Contest Requirements: To use the names Lewinsky and Kaczynski in a limerick Contestants’ Entries:

Entry # 1

There once was a gal named Lewinsky

Who played on a flute like Stravinsky

‘Twas “Hail to the Chief”

on this flute made of beef

that stole the front page from Kaczynski.

Entry # 2

Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky

We don’t want to leave clues like Kaczynski,

Since you look such a mess,

use the hem of your dress

And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.

Entry # 3

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown

what Kaczynski must surely have known:

that an intern is better

than a bomb in a letter

given the choice to be blown.

Little Jack Horner,
Sat in the corner,
Playing with Grandma’s twat,
Put in a pinky,
Pulled out a stinky,
And said, “My it’s beginning to rot”.