Category: one liners

IBM: You can buy better, but you can’t pay more.

I have never made a fool of my mother-in-law,

I just leave her to display her natural talents herself.

Q: Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts?
A: Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He was stuck in the chicken.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

“Turn right … no, turn left … no, turn straight!”

Q: What’s the difference between pink and purple?
A: The grip!!!!!

It’s better to have beer in hand than gas in tank.

Why do men like love at first sight?

It saves them a lot of time.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

Yo mama’s so ugly when she was born they put her in an incubator with tinted windows!!!!!!!

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace
for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting
started.

Today is National Small Business Day.

It’s the day we honor a lot of small businesses that used to be big businesses.