Category: one liners

One good thing about repeating your mistakes
is that you know when to cringe.

. . . more fun than fiberglass underwear.

“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?”

Q: What does a canniball do after he dumps his girlfriend?

A: He wipes his butt.

I learned French in six easy liasons.

It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No,
wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be
right there.

Q: Why did they kick the midget out of the nudist colony?
A: He kept sticking his nose in everyone else’s business!

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?

Well hung.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

What can a bird do that a man can’t?

Whistle through his pecker.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.