Category: one liners

hi i am cool

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Only the good die young, and only the young die good.

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Q. Why don�t witches wear underwear? A. To get a better grip on the broom!

It’s not an optical illusion it just looks like one.
– Phil White

Work is for people who don’t know how to fish

Advise is Cheap, because supply always exceeds demand.

There is no rest for the wary.

This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, “Why don’t we get it on, eh?”

She replies, “I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don’t like to make love the night before.”

So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep.

A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, “You don’t by any chance have a dentist’s appointment tomorrow, do you?”

Yo mamma is so fat when she gets on the scale it says…. to be continued

Anything is possible, but nothing is easy.