Category: one liners

Definitions

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Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.Full Name: What you call your child when you are angry with him/her.Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.Ow: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.Pre-natal: When your life was still somewhat your own.Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s dummy by boiling it and to your last baby’s dummy by blowing on it.Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pyjamas.Two-Minute Warning: When the baby’s face turns red and he/she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.Verbal: To whine in words.Whodunnit: None of the kids that live in your house.