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Category: one liners

The Pillsbury doughboy is way

Posted on June 25, 2016June 25, 2010 by admin

The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he
has no dick.

Posted in one linersLeave a Comment on The Pillsbury doughboy is way

Doctors visit

Posted on June 23, 2016June 23, 2010 by admin

DOCTOR: Don’t worry you’ll live to be eighty.

PATIENT: It’s my eightieth birthdday tomorrow.

DOCTOR: There. What did I tell you?

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

Posted in one linersLeave a Comment on Doctors visit

Laugh alone and the world

Posted on June 22, 2016June 22, 2010 by admin

Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.

Posted in one linersLeave a Comment on Laugh alone and the world

If work is so terrific,

Posted on June 21, 2016June 21, 2010 by admin

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

Posted in one linersLeave a Comment on If work is so terrific,

Never put off till tomorrow

Posted on June 21, 2016June 21, 2010 by admin

Never put off till tomorrow what you can easily do the day after.

Posted in one linersLeave a Comment on Never put off till tomorrow

They keep telling us to

Posted on June 20, 2016June 20, 2010 by admin

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn’t all
that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said,
“Body, how’d you like to go to the nine o’clock class in vigorous
toning?” Clear as a bell my body said, “listen bitch… do it and you
die.”

Posted in one linersLeave a Comment on They keep telling us to

Equal at work

Posted on June 19, 2016June 19, 2010 by admin

What do you call a woman who works as hard as a man?

Lazy!

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

Posted in one linersLeave a Comment on Equal at work

People don’t judge your generosity

Posted on June 18, 2016June 18, 2010 by admin

People don’t judge your generosity by the amount of Advise you give away.

Posted in one linersLeave a Comment on People don’t judge your generosity

What a mess!

Posted on June 17, 2016June 17, 2010 by admin

Have you heard about the elephant with diarrhea?

It’s all over town!

Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis

Posted in one linersLeave a Comment on What a mess!

I’ve learned that no matter

Posted on June 16, 2016June 16, 2010 by admin

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

Posted in one linersLeave a Comment on I’ve learned that no matter

Hypochondria is the one disease

Posted on June 14, 2016June 14, 2010 by admin

Hypochondria is the one disease I have not got.

Posted in one linersLeave a Comment on Hypochondria is the one disease

I know somewere inside of me there is a sober…

Posted on June 13, 2016June 13, 2010 by admin

I know somewere inside of me there is a sober man trying to get out.
A six pack usually shuts him up.

Posted in one linersLeave a Comment on I know somewere inside of me there is a sober…
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