Category: one liners

As you read the scroll, it vanishes…

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??

A: He thought it was a delivery service.

…about as funny as roman candles on a birthday cake.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing.

If I had any loose-fitting clothing,
I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!

Support mental health or I’ll kill you.

Frankly, I didn’t know my neighbor was a mass ax murderer, until I heard he received a three month suspended sentence.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

“V.P. Dan Quayle thought that Roe vs. Wade is an argument over alternative
ways to cross the Potomac River.”

How do you know you’re leading a sad life?

When a nymphomaniac tells you, “Let’s just be friends.”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

Why is it dangerous to let your man’s mind wander?

It’s too little to be out alone.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

Q: What’s brown and often found in children’s underpants?
A: Michael Jackson’s hand.

Ya momma’s so fat I have to take two trains and a bus just to get on her good side