Category: one liners

Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.

The rich are nothing but poor people with Yachts.

Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles?

He was half nuts!

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be
thrown away?

How do you get 20 vice presidents in a mini-van?Promote one and watch the other 19 crawl up his ass.

An antidote is a medicine you take to prevent dotes.

You know you’re getting old when you can’t tell the difference between a heart attack and an orgasm.

I love those ads that say: 50,000 satisfied customers can’t be wrong.

Maybe, but they sure can be stupid.

What are three words you dread the most while making love?

“Honey, I’m home.”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

It is better to wear out then rust out.

Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Death and taxes are inevitable; at least death doesn’t get worse every year.