Category: one liners

I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick
you when you’re down will be the ones who do.

How can you tell if your girlfriend is frigid?

When you open her legs the lights go on.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he
automatically lose because he can’t find himself?

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.

Don’t look back, they might be gaining on you.

Kilroy was here

Q: What is the similarity between lightning and a violist’s fingers?

A: They both never strike the same place twice.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

There is only one way to kill capitalism: taxes, taxes, and more
taxes.

Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game, when we are already there?

Reality? That’s where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

Do you know what a Yankee is?

Same as a quickie, except you’re by yourself

Did you hear that the man who invented the Do Not Back Up, Severe Tire Damage
device is now working on a birth control invention?