Category: one liners

Q: How do you know you’re leading a sad life?

A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, “Let’s just be friends.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

She’s got more chins than the Hong Kong telephone book.

She’s like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.

She’s so ugly they used to put a pot roast in her lap so the dog would
play with her.

She’s so ugly, she’d make a freight train take a dirt road!

Sit down and give your mind a rest.

Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis

Nebraska, Gateway to Arkansas.

Why is air a lot like sex?

Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

Today’s youth are tomorrow’s old people.

The purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

Your momma is so fat that she stepped on a scale and the scale said , “I want your

weight not your phone number”.

I laugh in the face of danger, then I hide until it goes away.

People have one thing in common: they are all different.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn’t have any guts!!!

Did you hear that Santa is getting a divorce?

He got caught laying a doll under the tree last year.

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing