Category: one liners

Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Heisenberg may have been here.

When writing, always make sure your verb and subject agrees.

Life is what passes you by while you’re busy making other plans.

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Put on your seatbelt… I wanna try something.

What did the Bra say to the Hat?

“I’ll cover these two, while you go on ahead.”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

Talent is the ability to convince people you have it.

Why didn’t JFK Jr take a shower before be left for the Vineyard?He said he’d wash up on shore.Hear about Kennedy Airlines? Their motto is ‘Your luggage will arrive before you do!’What do Kennedy’s miss most about Martha’s Vineyard?The runway.How did JFK Jr learn to fly? Crash course.How are the Kennedy�s like oil?They don’t mix well with water.Why aren’t there more JFK Jr jokes out there?They just haven’t surfaced yet.

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t
love her.

Did you hear that the new and politically correct name for “Lesbian” has been changed to “Vagitarian”?

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

A note was left on a car that had been given to a garage to be fixed, “Couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”