The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
Category: one liners
In Canada there are two Seasons……
In Canada there are two Seasons…
six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.
In looking at a drop
In looking at a drop of water under a microscope,
we find there are twice as many H’s as O’s.
Nothing is as easy as
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
The attention span of a
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
Gorilla Nostrils
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.
Only One?
Q: What do you call a guy with one testicle?
A: The una baller
“I used to live for
“I used to live for sex
Now I’d die for some”
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is…
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Fox to a cow
How do you turn a “fox” into a “cow”?
Marry her!
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Glaci
women’s t-shirt with slogan
Slogans for women’s T-shirts:� I’m out of estrogen – I have a gun.� Guys have feelings too. But like… who cares?� I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.� Next mood swing: six minutes.� And your point is?� I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re OK now.� I’m busy. You’re ugly. Have a nice day.� Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.� Of course I don’t look busy… I did it right the first time.� Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?� I’m multi-talented: I can talk and annoy you at the same time.� Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.� You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP� All stressed out and no one to choke.� I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.� How can I miss you if you won’t go away?� Sorry if I looked interested. I’m not.� Objects under this shirt are larger than they appear.
11th commandment – Covet not
11th commandment – Covet not thy neighbor’s Pentium.