Category: one liners

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka.

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I can do without the essentials,
but I must have my luxuries.

-Ashleigh Brilliant

My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried
under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told
him the truth–that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally–but I didn’t
want to upset him.

What’s the difference between a musician and a savings bond?

One of them eventually matures and earns money.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!

Why does everyone want to work at the impotency clinic?

It’s a soft job.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown

. . . and then Marie Antoinette says
“operator, I’ve been cut off.”

Never trust anyone who always tells the truth.

Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop.

Confusius say: “Man who board plane sideways going to Bangkok.”