Category: one liners

What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny’s batteries in backwards?

He keeps coming and coming and coming…

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

Is a book listing the definitions of habitual substances known as an
addictionary?

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

There is no job so simple that it can not be done wrong.

Why is urine yellow and sperm white?

So men can tell if they are coming or going.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo

Learn from your parents mistakes – use birth control!

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

“Don’t think of it as thousands of dollars of your hard-earned
money. Think of it as a screwdriver for the military.

What’s worse than lipstick on you collar?

Leg makeup on your ears.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they
still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.