Category: one liners

Why didn’t they invite the giraffe to the party?

He was a pain in the neck.

Please return Stewardess to original upright position.

What does an accountant do when he gets constipated?

He works it out with a pencil.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

If you die on an elevator, be sure to press the UP button.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com

A friend of mine confused her vallium with her birth control pills. She
had 14 kids, but she doesn’t give a shit.

Happiness is a positive cash flow.

Forbidden fruit has caused many a bad jam.

Q: Do you know why beer goes through your system so fast?

A: Because it does not have to stop to change color.

Life is like a sled dog team: if you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery
never changes.

Guns don’t kill people, it’s those little holes.