Category: one liners

Lunatic Asylum: The place where optimism most flourishes.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Q:what is the difference between Bill Gates and a viberator?
A:a viberator is an artificial dick!

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back,
and instead of bleeding, he sings.

Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..

What do you get when two giraffes collide?

A giraffic jam.

What does the sign on the whore house say, after they have closed for the day?

We’re Closed, Beat It!

Genghis Khan is looking for a few good barbarians.

I don’t think, therefore I am not.

Dain bramaged.

Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com

What’s the difference between a fat person and a virgin?

A fat person’s trying to diet, and the virgin’s dying to try it!

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by BreeBrown

What’s the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?

They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo