Category: one liners

It takes time to discover the Secret of Personal Growth.

Shoes with Lifts

Do you know why it’s called sex?

Because it’s easier to spell than Uhhhhh..oooohh…Ahhhhhh….AIIEEEEEEE!!!

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

I’m the person you’re mother always warned you about.

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but whips and chains excite me.

Why does Michael Jackson shop at Wal-Mart?

He saw a sign that said, “Boys underwear half off!”

Submitted by Sammb
Edited by Curtis

Q: Are birth control pills tax deductible?

A: Only if they don’t work.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

Q: What did one gay frog say to the other?
A: Rub-it Rub-it

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

-Jay London

� A priest saw a girl removin her blouse. He prayed. “God please close my eyes.”

When he opened his eyes the girl was naked. This time he prayed, “God please close your eyes.”

� A priest saw a girl removin her blouse. He prayed. “God please close my eyes.”

When he opened his eyes the girl was naked. This time he prayed, “God please close your eyes.”

All men are idiots … I married their king.

You know your old when you walk into an antique store
and someone tries to buy you.