Category: one liners

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

My mother-in-law is a well balanced person.

She’s got a chip on BOTH shoulders

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?You have to move them both aside before you eat

What do vampires play poker for?

High stakes.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Yo mamma is so big. The people that live near her put up signs “Free Whale Watching!”

Q. What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel balls?
A. Sparky!

Alcoholics Alias is a group in which you continue to drink, but under
an assumed name.

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

How do you make your wife scream after an orgasm?

Wipe your dick on the curtains.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo