When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy.
When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
Category: one liners
Bumper Sticker #109
Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn’t exist.
Bruce Lee is not dead
Bruce Lee is not dead – He’s just kicking around somewhere.
Cake
Q: Did you know that there is a food out there that will stop a woman from wanting sex?
A: Its’ called “Wedding Cake”
Insults 4
She could eat a watermelon through a picket fence!
She had a mouth dirtier than a wicker toilet seat.
She thinks the rear-view mirror is for putting on make-up.
She was another one of his near Mrs.
She’s a lot like train tracks – she’s been laid across the country.
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
If she’s still ugly, have
If she’s still ugly, have another beer.
One for the boys
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts the sentence with, `A man once told me…’How do you fix a woman’s watch?You don’t. There’s a clock on the stove.Why do men pass gas more than women do? Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course… at least he’ll shut up after you’ve let him in.All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?A woman who won’t do what she’s told.What do you call a woman with two brain cells?Pregnant.I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months – I don’t like to interrupt her.What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence? Divorced.Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90 percent – wedding cake.
Crabs
My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.
-Jay London
Those who can’t write, write
Those who can’t write, write manuals.
Rumor
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor
Submitted by Curtis
I used up all my
I used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.
Men whistling
Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.