Category: one liners

Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?

Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

You know how most packages say “Open here”. What is the protocol if
the package says, “Open somewhere else”?

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

They like a tight seal.

What do you call a gay dwarf?

A low blow.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician

Insanity is one mind working in two different directions at once.

If “fortification” means a very large fort, why doesn’t “ratification”
mean a very large rat?

Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in your jeans.